Right Here, Right Now
by NettieC
Summary: A weekend of babysitting the Roberts children gives Harm and Mac the impetus they need to discuss the neglected topic of their own deal - completed for the HBX August Challenge. Please note, this will be continuing and has changed rating.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: They are not mine.**

Right Here, Right Now

August HBX Challenge

Harm: Did anyone ever tell you that you  
have great maternal instincts?  
Mac: _(ruefully)_ Not as often as I've been  
told I have a great karate chop.

_Psychic Warrior_

Harm leant on the door jamb of AJ and Jimmy's bedroom door and watched as Mac tried to soothe Jimmy back to sleep after a bad dream. As she sang quietly to him, she wasn't aware Harm had joined them and was watching her every move.

An overnight babysitting gig for the four Roberts' children wasn't what he had planned for himself this weekend; his plans included some overdue maintenance on the Stearman and trying to convince Mac to take a flight with him. However, when it looked like the plans for Harriet and Bud's night away for Harriet's birthday would fall through due to their babysitter pulling out; Mac had offered to fill the void. While Harm hadn't been asked to help out, he had offered his services immediately when he figured he'd take a weekend with Mac anyway he could get it.

It was mid afternoon when Harm had arrived and Mac had already fed the tribe lunch and cleaned up before helping the boys build a big fort in the living room. With the twins having a nap, AJ and Jimmy were playing quietly in their new construction while Mac sat on the sofa drinking a well deserved coffee.

When the doorbell rang, AJ had charged to the door excited by the fact Uncle Harm was coming.

"Ssh," Mac had reminded him, pointing upstairs. "The twins are asleep."

"Sorry, Auntie Mac," AJ apologised as he reached the door. "Who is it?" he called, knowing he wasn't to open the door to strangers.

"Uncle Harm," came a very familiar voice and AJ flung the door open.

From the moment the boy had flung himself into Harm's arms until he had fallen asleep an hour ago, AJ had occupied most of his time, there were games and books and Nintendo and football and baseball and anything else AJ could think of. It wasn't a surprise at all that AJ had fallen asleep fast and earlier than usual.

Bringing himself back to the view in front of him, Harm smiled as Mac leant down to kiss Jimmy goodnight once more. As she headed back to the door, she raised her eyes and smiled to see Harm in the shadows.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have great maternal instincts?" Harm said quietly as she neared him.

"Not as often as I've been told I have a great karate chop," she said ruefully as she passed and Harm quickly reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Mac," he said, the sadness in her eyes unmistakeable. "You do have great martial arts skills but you also have great maternal..."

"Don't, Harm," she interrupted, pulling her hand back and walking out.

Harm followed her out and downstairs and eventually into the kitchen.

"Coffee?" she asked as she poured herself a cup.

"No thanks," he replied, grabbing a bottle of water.

"Fine," she replied, her voice clipped.

Waiting until Mac settled herself of one end of the sofa, Harm returned to the living room and sat at the other end. Trying to think of something to say which would be supportive and not cause more pain for her, Harm was drawing a blank.

"I'm okay," Mac finally offered after finding the silence too hard to deal with.

"I know," he affirmed, nodding.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she continued quietly. "I know you meant well."

"I did mean well," he confirmed, placing his water bottle on the floor next to him.

"It's just it's a touchy subject, you know?" she asked, tilting her head and looking at Harm for the first time in ten minutes.

"I know," he agreed. Deciding to be brave, Harm pressed on. "Mac, I would like to be able to talk to you about this," he said quite formally. "May I?"

Mac nodded slowly.

"For the record, our baby deal expired about four years ago," he started as his heart rate accelerated. "And it was eighteen months ago the doctor gave you a 4% chance of conceiving."

"Yeah," Mac said in a hushed breath, her eyes firmly fixed on the coffee mug in her hand.

"And after discussing that news briefly after the Admiral's Dining Out it hasn't been mentioned," he continued, trying to use his best court voice and not use any inflection which would make her feel he was blaming her.

"I know," she whispered.

"So, I guess what I really want to talk about, to know, is if, despite everything, you still want to try and have a baby..." he said and she nodded slightly... "With me?" There was no response to that and Harm didn't know what to make of it.

"Did you hear me?" he eventually asked, the silence getting too much.

Mac nodded and chanced a shy look at him before nodding once more.

"Okay," he said, picking up his bottle once more.

Long after a heavy silence settled over them, Mac stood up and returned her mug to the kitchen, taking the opportunity tidy up the last of the dinner things. When she returned, Harm had pillows and blanket set out on the sofa to make up his bed for the night. When he caught Mac watching him, he gave her half a smile.

"You take their bed," he said, nodding upstairs. "I'll take the sofa."

"It's a bit short for you, isn't it?" she asked, knowing he'd be in for an uncomfortable night's sleep.

"It's fine, Mac," he said, turning his back to her and sorting out his bedding.

"Good night, Harm," she said as she headed to the stairs and Harm could hear the sadness in her voice. Right now, though, he was feeling all kinds of sad himself. Never having given up on the idea of having a baby with Mac, he was feeling quite crushed that she had seemingly moved on.

"Night," he replied, without turning.

The mantle clock had chimed three when Harm awoke to the realisation he was being watched. Turning over in the confined space, he was surprised to find Mac sitting crossed legged in the nearby armchair, dressed in a tank top and pyjama bottoms.

"What's wrong?" he asked, when he saw the tear trails on her cheeks glisten in the ambient lighting.

She shook her head, knowing it was in no means a satisfactory response.

"Mac, what's wrong?" he repeated, sitting up and swinging his feet to the floor.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and swiped at her face.

"What are you sorry for?" he asked, fighting every instinct to cross the floor and hold her.

"Not answering you earlier," she said, glancing up at him. "Didn't quite know what to say."

"Do you know now?" he asked, gripping the blanket tighter.

"Not really," she confessed. "And I'm sorry for that too."

Suddenly shuddering in the cold night air, Mac wrapped her arms around her body to preserve heat.

"Mac, would you like to come over here?" Harm asked, lifting up the blanket.

Settled next to him on the sofa, with the soft blue blanket around her shoulders, Mac drew in a couple of deep breaths, each one filled her with more of his scent and she immediately wondered if sitting this close was a good idea.

Not wanting to open himself up to any more pain, but not wanting Mac to feel more pain than she had to, Harm wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leant them both back into the sofa. In a move which surprised him, Mac rested her head on his chest, while she ran an arm around his body and nestled in closer.

"Can you let me get all this out?" she asked, rolling her head back to look at him and see him nod.

"The easiest answer to your earlier questions is yes. Yes, I still want to have a baby and yes... I do want to have one with you. I've spent the last eighteen months trying to convince myself otherwise but I couldn't – I do want you to be the father of my baby," she confessed before taking some deep breaths.

Knowing she wasn't finished yet, Harm moved his hand so his fingers could rake through her hair and give Mac the comfort she needed to continue speaking the words which appeared to be paining her greatly.

"I guess the biggest thing is... in all this... that I'm just really scared," she all but whispered into the darkness of the room. "I know if we try and try and it never happens then I will be heartbroken ... but I can live with that ... or at least I think I can... But I don't know if I can live with what it would mean for you. You'd be an incredible dad, hell, you already are to Mattie, and you deserve to have your own mini-Harm running around. I don't want to be the one who takes that opportunity away from you... and I'm scared that if that's the way things go then I'll lose you completely because you'll hate me, much more than you probably do right now and that is something I know I can't live with."

"Can I speak now?" Harm asked gently, as he raised her face and she could see the tears in his eyes.

"Aha," she muttered, not being able to find her voice.

"You will never lose me, Sarah MacKenzie and I don't hate you – not now, not ever. I can never, will never hate you... do you understand me?" he questioned fiercely, his thumb and forefinger keeping her face in place until she muttered 'yes'.

"You should also know that I would rather be childless and have you in my arms forever, than have a child with anyone else," he confessed, his thumb swiping at her tears. "Being a parent with you is not as important to me as just being with you."

"What are you saying?" she said, struggling to find her voice in the swirling emotions which had engulfed her.

"I'm saying that I love you, Mac. I'm in love with you," he said, caressing her face. "I'm saying that I absolutely adore you ... I really do," he added as she dropped her head and broke eye contact. "I'm saying I want you... I need you...I am hopelessly and completely in love with you. And if you want to try and have a baby, I'm in it with you. And if you don't, that's fine too. And if we try and it doesn't work out then we'll get through that too."

"Are you really sure you want to take a chance on this? on me?" she asked tearfully; not quite believing after years of fumbled words and mixed messages when it came to the topic of them that Harm was being so explicit, so articulate.

"I am completely, totally, wholly, entirely positive," he replied adamantly, palming her cheek.

"In that case," she said, turning herself around so her chest was against his. "You should know that I love you so much, Harm," she whispered, before wrapping her arms around his neck and gently brushing her lips against his.

As the kiss developed a life of its own, Harm scooted around and lay on his back as Mac positioned himself on top of him, not letting his movement end the kiss a second before they had too. When finally they parted, she rested her head in the crook of his neck and took in some much needed oxygen. Feeling his fingers rake through her hair, Mac closed her eyes and allowed all her fears and doubts to ease away with each caress.

It took her a moment to realise Harm was talking to her.

"...been a problem to know how we were going to manage things, you know?" he continued. "But I've been thinking a lot lately about retiring and maybe this would be the perfect time."

"Retiring, really?" she said, struggling to look up at him.

"Yeah, I've had a few offers over recent months and it got me thinking and I knew when the right offer was made it would be the easiest decision ever, and I was right," he said, kissing her head.

"So what offer did you get?" she asked, wondering where he'd be headed.

"The offer of spending the rest of my life with you," he whispered as he lowered his face to kiss her lips.

"Oh!" she mouthed before his lips claimed hers.

"So," he continued when he'd pulled back marginally. "I think we make an appointment as soon as we can to see your OBGYN and see exactly what our options are and then see the General and make him aware of the situation and then make a plan of..."

Anything further he was going to say was lost in the amazing kiss Mac bestowed on him which caused Harm to forget his train of thought, his name and even the knowledge he had to inhale to breath.

The following morning, AJ was surprised to find his babysitters entwined on the sofa, half covered by the blue blanket.

"Why didn't you sleep in mom and dad's room?" he asked Harm as he struggled to open his eyes.

"Aunty Mac slept there," he replied, before realising she was currently causing the heavy weight he felt on his chest.

"But she's asleep there," he said, pointing to the sofa.

"Yeah, I know," he said, nodding. "She came down earlier and fell asleep."

"Why didn't you sleep with her in mom's bed?" he asked, propping himself on the coffee table.

"Well, because..." he started but then realised he had no real way of explaining the situation to the nine year old.

"Did you two have an argument?" he asked. "Because sometimes mom and dad argue and dad sleeps in there," AJ said, pointing to the den.

"Yeah, that's it," Harm agreed, just to end the conversation. "Now, what would you like for breakfast?"

"Aunty Mac said we could go to IHOP," he said excitedly. "Can we? Please?"

Checking the clock, Harm realised it was already eight and was surprised everyone bar himself and AJ were still asleep.

"Okay, you go have a shower and get dressed and then wake Jimmy, I'll wake Aunty Mac and get the twins ready," he said and AJ high-fived him.

"Mac," he said softly when AJ had disappeared. "Time to wake up." There was no answer. "Mac, breakfast time." While there was a muttering of sorts, he knew she wasn't fully awake. "Coffee...pancakes...bacon..." he continued.

"Mmmm, bacon," she moaned and Harm laughed, that was his marine.

Placing soft kisses across her face, Harm relished these few intimate moments with her and knew that from here on in, waking up with Mac was going to be the highlight of each and every day...going to bed with her would have certain amazing advantages too , he thought with a grin.

"Did you say something about bacon?" she repeated when she was more coherent.

"I did," he admitted. "AJ's awake, said you promised IHOP this morning."

"Yes, I did," she said. "And I'm starving."

"Now, why doesn't that surprise me?" he sassed as she sat up and stretched.

"It's in your best interest to feed me today, sailor," she said with a flirty smile.

"And why is that?" he replied, standing up and pulling her to him.

"Because I plan on spending a lot of energy tonight," she said, raising an eyebrow. "With you, if you're interested."

"Oh, I'm interested, very much so," he said quickly, pulling her closer still and kissing her thoroughly.

It was nearly another hour and a half before Harm, Mac and the four kids were sitting at a table in IHOP. Nicki was in a highchair next to Mac while Michael was in one at the other end next to Harm. All had their meals in front of them and while Nicki was actually eating, Michael was finding it better fun to play with his.

"You have a lovely family," said the waitress as she refilled the water glasses.

Mac was about to correct her before realising that she did have a family – she had Harm, she had two beautiful godsons, great friends and a sense of belonging she'd never had before. "Thank you," she said before reaching to take Harm's hand.

Whatever the future held, she had enough right here, right now.

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: They are not mine.**

**AN: I've decided to continue this story, I don't know how long it will be but I do know it will be a little hotter than usual.**

Right Here, Right Now

Harm's elation at Bud and Harriet's arrival home, albeit late, was tempered by AJ's genuine sadness at realising his and Mac's departure was imminent.

"Can't you stay for dinner, Uncle Harm?" he pleaded after Harm had returned from putting their bags in the respective cars.

"Sorry, champ, not this time," he said, ruffling the boys hair. His mind already filled with ideas and images as to how Mac would spend her energy.

"But dad's going to order pizza and ..." he started but Bud interrupted him.

"Now, son, Uncle Harm and Aunty Mac have been here all weekend and they need to go home and organise their own things," he said quietly yet firmly. "Why don't you just say thank you and goodbye?"

"Okay," he replied with a sigh as he walked back to Harm. "Thank you for everything, Uncle Harm," he said, wrapping his arms around Harm's waist.

"You're more than welcome, AJ," he replied. "I had a fantastic time."

"Me too," he agreed as Mac and Harriet entered the room.

Padding across the room, AJ wrapped his arms around Mac.

"Thank you, Aunty Mac, I had lots of fun," he said, as Mac hugged him.

"Me too," she replied, kissing his head. "You okay? You look a little sad."

"I don't really want you to go home just ..." he began.

"AJ," Bud interrupted.

"I don't really want to go home just yet either," Mac said, perching on the arm of the sofa and pulling him too her. "But there are things I need to do."

"I know," he said tearfully.

"But what's say, in a couple of weeks, you come and spend the night at my place, just you, not the other kids, and we'll make it something special?" she whispered into his ear and he nodded enthusiastically.

"That would be so cool, Aunty Mac, thank you," he replied grinning and squeezing her tightly. "And will Uncle Harm be able to cook his spaghetti?" he asked Mac, before looking at Harm.

"Sure will, AJ," he said. "And maybe get that choc ripple ice cream you love."

"Oh, so cool," he said, running to hug Harm too. "And if you and Aunty Mac don't argue you can sleep in her bed instead of on the sofa like last night and I can sleep on it!"

The awkwardness in the room was suddenly palpable as Bud and Harriet looked at each other, Mac stared at AJ and Harm looked anywhere else but at Mac.

"Ah, we can sort those arrangements out when you get there," he said with a couple of quick coughs.

xhmx

After a hurried departure from the Roberts home, Harm had been driving for twenty minutes before he realised he and Mac hadn't made any plans or rather, finalised arrangements for their evening.

"My place or yours?" he asked when she answered her cell.

"You want to tell me why AJ thinks he knows about our sleeping arrangements?" she countered.

"Well," he began before pausing and watching a car drive past him as he sat pulled over on the side of the road.

"Well," Mac countered.

"He came in when we were asleep on the sofa this morning and wanted to know why we weren't in Bud and Harriet's bed, I said that's where you were sleeping. He said but you were asleep on me and I told him you had come down earlier and fallen asleep. He asked if we'd had an argument because when his parents do, his dad sleeps in the den, and I didn't want to correct him only to have to find another explanation," he said in a rush of breath.

Peals of Mac's laugher echoed down the line as she tried to imagine the look on Harm's face as he was being quizzed by their godson.

"Glad you find it so funny, Mac," he said, feigning hurt.

"Oh, you poor baby," she consoled, the smile not far from her face. "Want me to make it up to you?"

"Does it involve you spending some of that energy?" he question, his flyboy smile in place.

"Oh, it might," she said non-commitally.

"Well, in that case, yes," he said. "So, my place or yours?"

"Let me think...let me think," she said, prolonging his agony.

"Maaac," Harm prompted impatiently.

"Well, Harm, I'm about fifteen minutes from my apartment and could be stark naked in sixteen," she said, knowing full well the effect it would be having on him. "Meanwhile, I'm about thirty minutes from your place and..."

"I'll be at your place in sixteen minutes," he said quickly before closing his cell and flooring the accelerator.

xhmx

It was a rather concerned Mac who opened the door to Harm thirty six minutes later, seeing he was still in one piece, she narrowed her eyes and studied him.

"Sorry, Mac," he said as she stepped aside to let him in.

"You said you'd be here in sixteen," she said, "It took you thirty six minutes and twenty eight seconds. Change your mind?" she questioned, folding her arms across her chest.

"Definitely not," he said, dropping his bag by her sofa before producing his hand from behind his back. "Had to stop to get you these." Mac's eyes widened at the immense colourful bouquet of spring flowers in his hand. "But then I got to the florist and just couldn't make up my mind...sorry."

"They're so beautiful," she gushed, taking them from him.

"Nowhere near as beautiful as you are, Mac," he said, pushing her hair back behind her ear before cupping her face as a flush coloured her cheeks. "You are incredible, you know that, right?"

"Sure," she said, half smiling at him.

"You..." he began, but Mac pulled back.

"Let me just put these in water," she said, padding towards the kitchen, giving herself a timeout from the nerves building within her.

When she returned with the flowers arranged in a large glass vase, she placed it on the coffee table before inhaling their scent. Watching her every move, Harm could tell that the love of his life was as nervous as he was. The truth was the pit stop for flowers had taken him five minutes. The extra fifteen were spent in the car downstairs as he try to steady his breathing and calm the butterflies in his stomach which were the size of fighter jets.

"May I take you out to dinner?" he asked, as she finally stepped away from the flowers.

"Now?" she clarified, not sure whether to be relieved or upset by the delay it would cause.

"Only if you want to," he said with a nod.

"Ah, yeah," Mac agreed. "Dinner would be great."

xhmx

Dinner was a rather short affair and they were back in the apartment within 90 minutes. Sitting on the sofa while Mac fetched the coffee, Harm contemplated his next move. Rather than the coffee in her hands, Mac was carrying two bottles of water. When she caught Harm's curious look she shook her head.

"Oh, it was supposed to be coffee, wasn't it?" she said, her mind somewhere else altogether.

"Water's fine, Mac," he said, taking her arm as she turned to head back to the kitchen.

"No, I can..." she began but Harm was more insistent.

"Mac, come sit," he instructed, guiding her around him and to the space beside him.

After she sat beside him and Harm had manoeuvred himself so Mac was comfortably nestled in his arms, he kissed the crown of her head. Their close proximity allowed him to realise her heart rate was extremely rapid, which was a perfect match for his. Taking a few deep, calming breaths, Harm rubbed his hand up and down Mac's arm, applying increasing pressure as he went.

"Talk to me," he whispered as his lips brushed against her forehead.

"About what?" she whispered in reply.

"Anything you like," he answered, kissing her head.

"Don't quite know what to say," she said with a chuckle. "Can't believe we're having this trouble."

"What trouble is that?" he asked, drawing her face up to his.

"Always thought it would be a frenetic ripping and shedding of clothes before hitting the sheets with a flailing of limbs," she said quietly.

"Well, we could do that," he replied, brushing her hair back from her face.

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "I think that works best when it's spontaneous."

"So, how do you want to do it now?" he asked, praying to any God who was listening that she hadn't changed her mind.

"Don't know," she answered and then silence prevailed.

Too much silence is never a good thing, especially when you had grand plans for other activities. So, when it all became too much, Harm twisted around on the sofa so he could lay down and brought Mac with him as he did. Resting her head on his chest, Mac smiled when she felt his fingers tangle through her locks and caress her scalp.

"Tell me about our first time," he whispered as her finger ran around his abdomen.

"Our first time?" she questioned trying to look up at him.

"Yes, our first time," he repeated, holding her a little tighter.

"We, ah, we...haven't had our first time yet," she commented.

"Not physically," he agreed. "But I'm sure you've imagined it, haven't you?"

"Well..." she trailed, not wanting to give away all her secrets in one weekend. "Have you?"

"Yes," he said quickly. "Quite a few times actually."

"Well, you tell me first," she said, propping herself up to look at him.

"Which version do you want to hear?" he question, swiping his thumb across her lips.

"I get a choice?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yes, you do, Mac," he said before leaning in and kissing her on the nose.

"Well, in that case I want to hear your version of our first time," she said, settling back beside him.

"Well, I have a whole compendium of those. Do you want the summer one, fall one, spring one, winter one..." he began to reel off.  
"One for each season," she interrupted.

"Easter one, Halloween one, Thanksgiving one, Christmas one..." he continued. "The kitchen one, office one, submarine one..."

"Wow!" she said, although she wasn't really surprised – she had a different Harm fantasy for each season, each day, each change of outfit.

"So, which one would you like to hear?" he asked before raising her hand and kissing it.

"Oh, I think I would like to hear them all," she whispered into the quietness.

"Eventually, you will," he replied. "But for tonight, I think it will be the submarine one..."

xhmx

Taking a long drink of water, Harm recreated the dream in his mind, knowing it would be easier to relate that way.

"Well," he began in a drawl. "To summarise the beginning, we get sent to some sub on investigation and find it's a waste of time but still have days before we can be picked up..."

"Why?" she questioned.

"Is that really the important part?" he countered as she looked up at him.

"Oh, no, sorry," she said with a chuckle. "Go on."

"Anyway, I'm in the XO's room, minding my own business and you appear in the doorway dressed in a sheer blue negligee," he said, grinning at the memory.

"As if," she said with a laugh.

"My dream, my choice of clothing," he said, with a smirk. "So, there you are, leaning up against the door jamb and you look absolutely incredible. My first inclination is to jump up and gather you in my arms but the effect you have on me is evident and I'm a little embarrassed to get up from behind the table."

"I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about," she cooed as she ran her hand down his abdomen and down the front of his jeans.

"Mac," he gasp, grabbing her wrist.

"What?" she questioned. "Don't you like that?"

He did like it, he liked it a lot. So, he let go of her wrist and kept talking, Mac kept up with her own activities.

"Anyway..." he recommenced before taking a steadying breath. "You saunter across the room and sit yourself on the table in front of me, your legs on either side of my body and I think to myself that if I don't take you there and then I'm going to spontaneously combust."

"Do you take me?" she questioned eagerly.

"Eventually," he said tauntingly before kissing her quickly. His building desire for her having lots to do with her activities below his waist band and not so much the story he was relating.

"Keep going," she encouraged as she unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.

"Well, I... er...I rest my hands on your knees and slowly skim them upwards, taking the negligee with me," he said, trying to keep his voice even. "Then, ah...I realise you've gone commando; which scares and excites me in so many ways."

"I do go commando at times," Mac said causing Harm to moan. "Keep going."

"Well, I run my hands behind you and rest them on your butt before pulling you closer to me," he said, his voice deepening.

"Aha," she said as her hand slipped into his jeans.

"Then I ... ah... wake up," Harm said quickly, needing to end the story before Mac ends his plans by a few swift movements of her fingers.

"Sure," said Mac with a laugh as Harm took her arm and pulled her up on him.

"Well, I wake up to the fact that I am desperately in love with you," he said, grinning.

"That I can believe," she said before leaning down and kissing him until her new favourite sound, the soft moan emanating from deep within Harm's being, materialises.

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: They are not mine.**

--------------------------  
Pulling back and resettling herself on Harm's chest, Mac murmured contentedly before realising she really wanted to hear the rest of the submarine story.

"Tell me how that dream really ended," she said, looking up at him to find his adoring gaze studying her face.

Harm smiled to himself because he already knew the ending was spectacular, as were the endings of all Mac related dreams.  
"Come on, share," she prompted wanting to know exactly what aspect of the dream put such a cheeky smile on his handsome face.  
"Well," he started before entwining his fingers with hers and bringing them to rest on his chest, lest Mac return to her earlier actions and stop his storytelling once more. "You're on the table and I've just brought you close to me, and I can feel the tension in your body as I run my hands up your side and rest them on your back. You lean down and whisper to me and I know I'm seriously running out of time to get things happening."  
"What did I whisper?" she asked curiously, rolling onto him and watching his reaction. Harm blushes bright red in response and now Mac desperately has to know. "What was it?"  
"Use your imagination," he replied hoarsely.  
"No, we're using your imagination. What did I say?" she pushed.  
"It was just something like 'I want you'," he said quickly, trying to skim over the topic.  
"It was much more than that," she replied, shifting upwards on his body which is turn caused friction and a rush of blood the part of his body Harm was trying to ignore. Mac grinned at her affect on him and decided to use it to her advantage. "I think I need to help you out," she said, as she continued to rock on his body ever so slightly. "I think I probably said something like, 'Harm, take me now, I'm yours'. Was that it?" she asked, biting her lip as she awaited his response.  
"It was that in essence," he agreed and started to speak but Mac interjected.  
"Or was it something like, 'Oh my god, Harm, I want you in me right now'," she whispered hoarsely and Harm swallowed hard before shaking his head. "What was it then?"

Trying to find the right way to express the words the dream Mac had uttered was proving difficult. In real life, Harm had never heard Mac be vulgar or crude in anything she had said. Yes, he had heard her curse but those times were few and far between and never done lightly. The submarine dream Mac was very much living up to the adage of 'swearing like a sailor' and while his dream self had found it a turn on, he didn't want Mac to think that's what he needed to hear.

"What was it?" she asked again, bringing him from his thoughts.  
"You actually sang to me," he said, uttering the first lie of their brand new relationship.  
"Oh, what did I sing?" she asked, surprised by the turn of events.  
"It was more like a purr and it was 'If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on, sugar, let me know..." He tried to sing but Mac's movements, even if slight, were distracting him.  
"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on, sugar, let me know. If you really need me, just reach out and touch me, Come on, honey, tell me so," she sang, gently gyrating on him before reaching up for a lingering kiss.

"I think you're incredibly sexy, Sarah MacKenzie," he stated, his hands framing her face as he watching her chocolate eyes flutter shut under his gaze.  
"Wanna touch me?" she whispered, opening her eyes and taking a deep breath.  
"God, yes," he replied as one hand ran down her spine before coming back up and under her shirt.  
"Come on, honey, tell me so," she sang and was surprised to find his swift movements under her top had resulted in her bra being unhooked.  
"I want to touch you in so many different ways, Mac," he declared softly, his hands massaging her soft, tender skin. "I want to explore every inch of your body in every conceivable way. I want to touch you and caress you and kiss you and stroke you and ... and..."  
"And I want you to do it," she admitted, moaning as his hands slipped under her waist band and cupped her butt.  
"I love you so much, Mac," Harm said as he placed featherlight kisses across her face and down her neck before stopping to suck on her pulse point.  
"Love you..." she began before the word 'too' was lost in a moan as Harm reached her pulse point. "Oh god," she mumbled, arching into him and leaving him in no doubt he had hit a good spot.

When he finally moved on from her neck, Harm wondered whether this level of intimacy was enough for the evening. After all, it wasn't as if they had been dating, and he didn't want her to think he just wanted sex from her. What he wanted most was to cherish her. To spend hours and hours just being with her; laughing, talking, walking hand in hand, relaxing, making love with her.

Whatever she had been saying was lost to Harm and he tried harder to concentrate on Mac's voice.  
"I am hot...what do you think?" she asked, placing her palms flat on his chest and pushing herself up.  
"I think you are hot too," he replied, with a smirk.  
"So, what do you think?" she repeated and he then realised he didn't know the question.  
Deciding to play it safe he smiled at her. "I think whatever you think is good."  
"Well, in that case, let's go," she said, climbing off him and suddenly Harm was worried that playing it safe had backfired big time.

His panic was short lived when Mac took his hand and led him to the bathroom.  
"Shower or bath?" she asked, gesturing to the taps.  
"What would you prefer?" he asked, hoping this meant they would be sharing the aquatic experience together.  
"Well, showers can be pretty quick..." she began, adding 'and hot and heavy' in her own head. "But baths are a little longer and more relaxed and intimate and ..."  
"A bath then," he answered for her. Harm was all for anything which advocated intimacy between himself and Mac.

After turning on the faucets and testing the temperature of the running water several times, Mac grabbed a box of matches from the cabinet and handed them to Harm.  
"Think you could light the candles?" she asked before softly kissing his cheek.  
"My pleasure, ma'am," he said, returning the kiss.  
After adding the jasmine and vanilla infused bubble bath, Mac disappeared before returning with two long glasses of water. Placing them on a stool next to the tub, she disappeared a second time, this time returning wearing nothing but a blue satin robe.

"Blue is my favourite colour on you," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her gently.  
"I know, it's why I bought it," she admitted, kissing him back. "You know what I prefer on you?" she asked, pulling back slightly.  
"Blue?" he responded. "Or marine green?"  
"Close," she said with a laugh.  
"What do you prefer on me, Mac?" he asked, already determined to by at least five shirts in any colour she mentioned.  
"I prefer me on you," she sassed, locking her arms around his neck and bringing him to her forcefully.  
"I prefer that too," he agreed before there was no room for talking.

As Mac turned off the faucets and tested the water, she declared it was perfect and turned to unbutton Harm's shirt for him, his jeans already undone thanks to the earlier exploits. As his shirt dropped to the floor, she pulled up his tank and stood on tippy toes as she tried to help him remove it. Before she could assist with his jeans the phone rang and she cursed under her breath before padding out to get it.

Returning moments later, she grinned to find Harm already in the bath; although part of her was a little disappointed she didn't get to see him get in.  
"Anything important?" he asked as he held out his hand to her.  
"No idea," she replied. "Pulled the plug from the wall with the landline, switched both our cells to flight mode and locked the front door. It's just you and me now."  
"Just the way I like it," he replied and waited for her to join him. It didn't seem to be happening.

He watched as she fiddled with some candles and then rearranged their towels before taking a sip of water, all intermingled with seven deep breaths.  
"I can close my eyes while you get in," he offered, closing his eyes and smiling when he felt the shift of water as she stepped in.

Technically, his eyes were closed as she got in, that's not to say they remained that way as she seated herself in front of him giving him a clear view of the six he had watched with interest for years. Not really a six man himself, Harm had to admit as far as they went, Mac's was perfect. Although, he also had to admit that right at this point of their relationship, everything about Mac was perfect.

"Like what you saw?" she asked, pressing back into him as his arms wrapped around her.  
"Wasn't looking," he replied.  
"Sure," Mac said with a chuckle.  
"Well, maybe just a little," he admitted kissing her temple.  
"I would have looked a lot," she said with a laugh as she craned her neck so she could kiss him.

For the next few minutes, both drew deep calming breaths which had to dual purpose of soothing nerves and filling the silence. It wasn't long before Harm felt Mac's hands run up and down his legs, gently massaging his flesh as she went. It surprised him that her touch felt incredibly comfortable, like it was something which happened each and every day, something that had been happening for years. And he guessed, in a way, it had. Not a touch in a physical sense but in an emotional one – she had been touching him; his heart, his life, from the moment she shook his hand in the rose garden all those years ago.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly, breaking into his solitude, her hands continuing their journey.  
"Just about how incredibly lucky I am to have met you a decade ago," Harm replied, before kissing her shoulder. "Can't imagine what my life would have been like had our paths not crossed."  
"Can't imagine what mine would have been like either," Mac replied solemnly.  
"You might not believe me," he continued, kissing up her neck to her ear. "But I've been in love with you for so long that this all feels so natural."  
"I know what you mean," she answered. After her initial nerves, she had realised that there was nothing to be nervous about – this was Harm, she loved and trusted Harm.

As Mac pushed further back into him, Harm ran his hands around to the front of her body. His left hand remained splayed on her abdomen while his right moved upwards to cup her breast. Gently his fingers stroked and caressed her, paying careful attention to the tender bud which was already hard. After several amazing minutes, his hands alternated positions and her left breast received the same breathtaking experience. Though not really capable of thinking at this moment, she had to acknowledge that the man was damn talented.

Wanting to reciprocate in some way, Mac tried to turn around in his arms but Harm wouldn't allow her. He'd had years to dream and fantasise about what he'd do if he ever was blessed with the opportunity and, now he had, he was going to do everything in his power to do it. Before Mac had the chance to explain her desire to reciprocate, the fingers of his right hand slipped between her legs and Mac arched violently, moaning.

"Love you so much," Harm murmured as he sucked on her pulse point while his fingers kept rhythm below the bubbles.  
"Aha," Mac managed, trying to breathe through the effect his ministrations were having on her.  
"You are amazing," he continued, moving her hair to gain access to the other side of her neck.  
"Aha," she repeated, wrapping her fingers around his wrist; not sure if she wanted him to stop or go faster.  
"Want me to stop?" he asked, his fingers stilling and Mac shook her head. "Tell me what you want?" he whispered hoarsely.  
"Deeper," she whispered, sinking further into the water allowing him greater freedom.

It didn't take long for Mac to feel an orgasm building and she was desperate for her first one with Harm to be just that, with Harm. Despite every fibre of her being resisting her brain's desire to roll over, she did just that and lay chest to chest with Harm.  
"You're so close," he whispered, nibbling on her lobe, sending shivers down her spine.  
"I know," she replied almost breathlessly.  
"So why'd you turn over?" he questioned, stopping to hold her face and studying her eyes.  
"Wanted to wait for you," she admitted, her hand slipping between them before her fingers wrapped around his hardened length.  
"You don't have to," he answered, trying to release her grasp.  
"It's only fair," she said, her nails scraping his length, causing him to shudder.  
"But..." he started to protest only to gasp as she tugged on him.  
"But?" she prompted, enjoying the response she was getting from him.  
"Ah ... um ... but ..." he said before shaking his head trying to gain some clarity. "But you could come a few times before I do," he managed. "'Cause you know, I'm not that young anymore and getting to this stage again is not as quick as it used to be," he admitted shyly.  
"Are you sure?" she asked and when he nodded she flipped back over, sunk into the water and allowed his fingers to weave their magic.

With a sharp intake of breath, the calling of his name and much of the bath water splashing onto the floor, Mac experienced her first true taste of bliss.

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: They are not mine.**

--------------------------  
Coming down from her blissful high, Mac remained oblivious to the amount of water she'd sent over the side until the lack of warm water surrounding her cooling body made her shiver.  
"You splashed it out," Harm explained when Mac looked puzzled at the water depth.  
Slowly, Mac looked over the side of the tub and cringed when she saw the floor was soaked.  
"Oh well," she said with an exaggerated sigh. "At least it was worth it," she added grinning.  
"Glad to hear it," Harm whispered into her ear while his hand gently stroked her arm.  
"Your fingers are very gifted, Commander," she said, leaning back into him.  
"I have many gifted body parts," he responded with a smirk.  
"Do you just?" she asked, craning her neck and raising an eyebrow.  
"Oh, most definitely," he replied, as he nibbled on her ear lobe.  
"Might just have to keep count," she replied, half turning around in the bath so she could caress his face.  
Harm's laugh echoed throughout the small tiled room.  
"You do that, Mac," he whispered as he leant in to kiss her. "You do that."

When Mac shivered once more, Harm reached down between Mac's feet and pulled the plug from the drain before helping her stand up and standing himself. Stepping out of the tub, Harm grabbed a yellow fluffy towel and wrapped it around himself before grabbing the second one and taking a step closer to Mac. As she held out her hand to take the towel, Harm shook his head and unfolded the towel before taking a corner and silently dabbing gently across Mac's shoulders.  
"I can dry myself," she said quietly, not wanting to disturb the silence of the room.  
"I know," he replied but continued nonetheless.

As he dropped to one knee to dry Mac's legs, she placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, trying to ward of the nerves she felt at him being so close.  
"God, you're so beautiful," he declared before placing a string of kisses across her abdomen. "You know that, right?" he questioned, trailing a line back in the opposite direction.  
When he received no reply, Harm looked up to find Mac barely breathing with her eyes tightly shut. Standing up once more, Harm wrapped her towel and his arms around her before kissing her forehead and nose and lips.  
"Breathe, gorgeous," he instructed quietly as he gently kissed her eyes.  
"I am," she all but mouthed, her voice disappearing.  
"Are you scared of me?" he asked as he felt her heart pound hard against their joined chests.  
"Never," she replied, wrapping her arms around his waist.  
"Then what?" he whispered, reaching up to push her damp locks from her face.  
"Just thinking," she replied, tilting her head and studying him.  
"Of what?" he asked, holding her gaze.  
"You realise what this is?" she asked, nodding towards the bedroom and Harm shook his head. "It's our last first time. I know you're it for me, Harm. I've always known it."  
"And you're it for me, Mac," he replied, kissing her cheek.  
"And you're sure?" she questioned, she believed him, honestly she did. However, a part of the barricade she had put up all those years ago to protect herself still remained deep in the vestiges of her heart.  
"Absolutely and unequivocally positive," he answered firmly. "And since this is our last first time ... and since there will never, ever, be anyone else for me but you... there's something I've wanted to ask you..."  
Dropping down to one knee once more, Harm took her hands in his kissed them before looking up into the teary brown eyes.  
"Harm, you don't..." she began but he reached up and placed his finger on his lips.  
"Yes, I do," he said, before pulling him closer to her. In all his dreams, real and nocturnal, Mac was never just someone he was seeing, nor had she ever been his girlfriend. She was simply his – his partner, his fiancée, his wife. "You, my beautiful, beautiful Sarah are the absolute love of my life. Would you please do me the honour of allowing me to be your husband?" he asked as glistening tears trickled down his face.  
"Of course," she replied, bringing her hands up to frame his face. "I love you completely, Harm – with all my heart, with all my soul. For now and evermore."

Leaning down, Mac gently brushed her lips against his before whispering her love for him over and over again. Struggling to get to his feet once more, with his lips still attached to the woman who was now his fiancée, Harm gripped the towel rail to help him.  
In a sweeping motion, Harm scooped Mac up and kissed her once more.  
"What are you doing?" she asked as he manoeuvred her through the doorway.  
"Carrying you over the threshold," he answered before kissing her once more. "This is the first day of the rest of our lives so we are going to do this right."  
"If you insist," she said, relaxing into his arms.

As he neared the bed, Mac leant over and pulled the covers back before Harm gently laid her on the mattress. Leaning down, Harm untucked Mac's towel and unwrapped it from her body, depositing it on the floor.  
"You're so perfect," he whispered as his eyes wandered over her body.  
"So are you," she replied before unhooking his towel and leaving it on the floor next to hers.  
"Are you ready?" he asked, crawling onto the bed and hovering over her.  
"More than," she replied, running her hand up his arms and around his neck.

Deep under the covers, Harm made it his mission to explore every inch of her amazing body. Using his mouth and tongue he undertook his duty seriously and kissed, licked and sucked his way around her body leaving Mac tingling and desperate for something more than just his mouth. Trying to grab his attention, Mac ended up taking hold of his ears and bringing him up from the depths of her bed.  
"Need something?" he asked, a goofy grin across his face.  
"You," she replied, sinking further down into the bed.  
"I'm with you, gorgeous," he said with a smirk.  
"No, I want you right here, right now," she said, pulling him down onto her and firmly cupping his butt with her hands.  
"Any last words?" he asked, stalling for time as his heart rate hit 150.  
"Be good," she said with a smirk.

Repositioning himself, Harm pushed himself up on locked arms to save from squashing Mac into the mattress.  
"What's wrong?" she asked when his face changed from a look of love to one of panic.  
"Shit! I'm sorry, Mac," he apologised, rolling to the side of her before propping himself up on one elbow.  
"What's wrong?" she repeated, mirroring his position before caressing his face.  
"I'm not prepared..." he began.  
"It's okay," she interrupted, cupping his cheek. "We don't have to do this until you're ready..."

For a few moments Harm looked at her, puzzlement across his face. What did she mean until he was ready? Clearly he was ready now. Then it dawned on him.  
"Oh, I'm ready, I think that's obvious," he said, grinning at her.  
"But you said..." she started before he laughed. "What?"  
Leaning across, Harm kissed her forehead, his smile still in place.  
"I meant prepared as in protection wise," he explained, running his hand over her hip and down her thigh. "I never anticipated this turn of events this weekend..."  
"Oh," Mac replied before giggling. "Well, Harmon," she continued before pushing him onto his back and climbing on top of him. "Since we agreed we'd like to have a baby, don't you think a condom would be irrelevant?"  
"Oh," he echoed. "I see your point, Mac," he said as she leant down to kiss him. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't ... that you realised I didn't just expect you... that I..."

"I trust you," she whispered, providing the words he needed to hear.

"So, where were we?" he asked, flipping them back over before recommencing his exploration of her body.  
"Stop!" she ordered and he did immediately.  
"What's wrong?" he asked, peeking up sheepishly.  
"You, me, now!" she all but commanded, wrapping her legs around his waist and keeping him in the position she desperately needed him to be.  
"Don't you like..." he began.  
"Yes, but it's foreplay," she said, her hands locking behind his neck.  
"I just thought..." he tried again.  
"We've had a decade of foreplay," she explained, pulling him closer. "Now, for the rest of it."  
"Anything you say, gorgeous."

For several long moments Harm gazed down at Mac. After ten years this was it, he was going to make love with Mac. Quickly, he offered a silent prayer that he'd be everything she imagined; she was already everything he'd imagined, everything he ever wanted, everything he'd ever need.  
"Now!" He heard her whisper and he nodded his head, now it was.  
Positioning himself at her entrance, Harm leant down and kissed her slowly and loving before slowly thrusting up and burying himself within her. Giving them both a couple of precious moments to get used to the incredible flood of emotions sweeping through them, Harm kept still until Mac writhed underneath him and let him know she was more than ready to continue.  
Long, languid movements and each of Harm's thrusts were met by Mac's as she allowed herself to succumb to the blissful oblivion Harm was creating. Knowing it wouldn't take long to reach her climax, Mac tried to fight it off, wanting this, their first time to last forever or at least as long as possible. And three minutes and thirty eight seconds was not nearly long enough.  
"Don't wait for me," Harm whispered before sucking on her earlobe.  
"Wanna," Mac moaned as his thumb caressed her nipple.  
"Don't," he repeated, more than please it was him having this effect on Mac.  
"Wanna," she repeated but it was only a whimper as Harm's fingers moved between them and forced the issue.

Breathing hard, Mac tried to bring herself down from her second Harm created high which she was finding incredibly difficult as the man continued with his actions, not giving her any chance to relax. She had barely been able to focus her gaze on him before she felt another orgasm building within her once more. Wanting Harm to experience just one iota of the amazing feelings inundating her, Mac encouraged him to roll back so she could show him just what she was feeling.  
Disappearing under the covers, Mac decided to create the route Harm had taken on her on his own body and couldn't help but smile every time he shuddered at her touch. As her nails raked along his length, Harm groaned and tugged her back up to him. He knew if Mac used her mouth again anywhere below his bellybutton he'd be done for.  
"Please!" he whispered when he caught her eyes and Mac knew exactly what he was pleading for. Leisurely she crawled up his body before stopping straddled across his midriff. Harm's large, gentle hands sat on her hips before slowly helping her lift up and settle on him.

Moaning involuntarily at the overwhelming sensation of Harm reaching depths which had never before been reached, Mac momentarily forgot this little scene was about what she could do for him, not vice versa. Eventually moving, with Harm's help and encouragement, Mac rocked on him, using every muscle in her being to delight and distract him.  
Knowing he was close, Mac never faltered in her actions. Each movement, each caress, each kiss an act of absolute love as he lay beneath her allowing her full reign over his body, his heart, his life.  
"Love you," she whispered before laying atop him and bringing him to the brink.  
"Love you, Maa..." he began before she sent him over the edge into a blissful oblivion, quickly following herself.

**Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: They are not mine.**

The siren blaring from an ambulance as it screamed down Mac's street, floors below her apartment was enough to cause her to stir. Immediately, her brain registered the time; 0447. Turning over, while still wrapped in Harm's arms, she studied her fiancé's face in the glow of the street light. Realising they had barely had three hours sleep, Mac knew she should let Harm sleep; after all he had court at 1000 and needed his slumber uninterrupted.

However, her overwhelming desire was to wake him and see in the sunrise with a more physical encounter. It took her all of four seconds to decide sleep was entirely overrated and roll herself onto Harm.  
"Mmmm, you starting something, marine?" Harm murmured as he held her on top of him.  
"Yep," she replied, trailing kisses down his neck before stopping to suck on his pulse point.

Not wanting to deny Mac anything, especially if it resulted in some horizontal activity, Harm willingly let her continue. With his body electrified by her kisses and caresses, Harm realised he needed to move things along rather quickly, which didn't seem to be on Mac's agenda.  
"Mac, honey," he cooed, tugging her up to him before kissing her thoroughly.  
"Yes?" she replied when she was finally able to breathe once more.  
"Love you so much," he declared as he rolled them over and hovered above her.  
"Love you too, Harm," she whispered as she felt him slide into her.

Their encounter was short in comparison to their earlier ones and it was enough to allow Mac to drift off happily once more. Harm, on the other hand, was awake and sated. For a long while, he stroked her arm and listened to her soft breathing, trying to recount every aspect of the night, lest it all be a dream. Sometime before the sun rose, Harm had succumbed to the Sandman and Mac had woken once more. This time she let him sleep, knowing they'd both have to be up and out the door before too long.

Leaving him alone in bed, something which was much harder to do than she'd expected, Mac padded to the kitchen and started the coffee before checking the cupboards and realising she had nothing to feed the man. Heading back to the bedroom, Mac donned her sweats, ran a brush through her hair and grabbed her purse.

Harm was still sound asleep when Mac returned with an array of items from the nearby bakery. Taking the opportunity to shower, Mac slipped under the hot pulsating water and allowed her thoughts to drift to the events of the night – events that, even now, Mac had a hard time believing had actually happened.  
"Want me to wash your back?" Harm asked, startling her. "Sorry!"  
"That's okay," she replied, taking his hand as he stepped in. "Just day dreaming."  
"About?" he questioned, pushing her wet hair back behind her ear.  
"About a wonderful Commander and a night of unbelievable sex," she replied, running her hands over his hips before linking her fingers behind his back.  
"Unbelievable, hey?" he asked, a cocky smile in place.  
"Well, how would you describe it?" she asked, not wanting to boost his ego any further.  
"Breathtaking, unforgettable, memorable, remarka..." he uttered until Mac's lips on his stopped further talking.

The deep, passionate kisses gave way to a more physical encounter as Mac was pressed up against the wall with her legs wound around Harm's waist. Many deep thrusts later, as Harm braced one arm on wall and the other wrapped around Mac's body in the still hot, pulsating water, Mac reached her peak and screamed his name as he sucked on her nipple, before flicking it with his tongue and sending her over the edge.

As she was coming down from her high, Harm increased the pace of his movements knowing that their time this morning was now extremely limited.  
"Can...you...wait...a ...minute?" she asked breathlessly as she felt things rising within once again.  
"Not really," he managed, every part of him screaming for release. Then he realised she may want him to stop. Not able to draw his own conclusions in the circumstances, he pulled back slightly. "Want me to stop?"  
"Never," she replied, more than impressed he was willing to put a halt to proceedings, given his immense interest in the situation right now.  
It didn't take long before she had tumbled into oblivion once more, this time taking Harm with her.

Exchanging long, leisurely kisses as their breathing and heartbeats returned to normal, Harm and Mac stood entangled in the cooling waters of the shower.  
"We need to get moving," Mac mumbled against his chest as she heard her alarm sound in the bedroom.  
"I know," he replied, kissing her head.  
"Think we can call in sick?" she asked when neither had made a move.  
"You feeling unwell?" he asked, hooking a finger under her chin and tilting her face up.  
"No," she said with a sigh. "But I do think I could use a day in bed," she sassed before winking at him.  
"Oh," he replied before giving two very weak and obviously faked coughs.  
"You could use a day in bed too," she responded, turning off the water. "Especially with a nasty cough like that."

With duty taking precedence over recreational pursuits, Mac was working diligently at her desk by 0730, while Harm appeared in the bullpen by 0815 after a trip home for his uniform. They had made their own arrangements over a hastily digested breakfast; this included Mac packing an overnight bag and a few spare uniforms to leave at Harm's – where she would be spending the night and Harm promising that he would only see Mac during the day of absolutely necessary, neither one too sure of how they'd react in the presence of the other.

It was a good promise, Mac thought, as Harm passed by her office door and she had to fixate on the computer to stop her running to the door, dragging him in, shutting the blinds, locking the door and finding out the sturdiness of her wooden desk.

Summoned to the General's office a little before noon, Mac was worried he'd realise there was something amiss between two of his senior officers. She didn't want to lie to the man, she knew they had to tell him sooner rather than later but if he had to find out today, she'd rather Harm was alongside her. Thankfully, General Cresswell just wanted an update on the Buchman case.

Back in her office, Mac sat behind her desk doodling on her note pad, her mind focused on the fact she was engaged to Harmon Rabb. In all the emotions and actions of the weekend, Mac hadn't had time to really digest the news that they were engaged. Yes, she knew he'd proposed and yes, she knew she'd accepted but still it was an overwhelming sensation flooding through her right at this moment.

Absently, she ran her right index finger over her left ring finger, which was still bare. She tried to imagine what it would feel like to look down and see wedding bands on that finger – wedding bands from Harm. She tried to imagine what their wedding day would be like; formal and big or small and intimate. She tried to imagine the dress she would wear, his face when he first saw her in it, the way he'd kiss her when the minister told him he could. It was a lot to imagine but each time Mac tried she was drawing a blank.

Despite all her efforts, her mind would drift from what she was trying to focus on to the appointment card sitting in front of her on the desk; the one from her specialist. The one she needed to call and make an appointment with. The one that was scaring her to death right now.  
"Everything alright, Mac?" Harm asked, coming in when he saw her lack of movement and tense features from the bullpen.  
"Oh, what?" she asked, looking up. "Yeah, everything's fine," she lied, realising what he'd asked.  
"Mac, you have tears in your eyes, you're staring at your desk, you don't seem fine to me," he said gently, closing the door and dropping into the chair across from her.  
"Oh," she replied, shaking her head before lifting up the card and handing it to him. "Guess I'm a little less okay that I want to be."  
"Did you call and make an appointment?" he asked, handing back the card, his fingers brushing hers as he did.  
"Well, no, not exactly," she admitted. "I ...um...I seem to be having a little trouble with doing that."  
"Because you are not sure you're ready to hear what she has to say?" he asked, resting his arms on her desk and leaning forward.  
"Aha," she said with a nod.  
"We don't have to make it right now," he said, with a smile. "We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."  
"I want to do it sooner rather than later," she said with a sigh. "At least then you know what..."  
"It won't make me change my mind – whatever the results," he said, reaching out and taking her hand. "I meant what I said about my life being complete with it being just you and me."  
"You sure?" she asked tearfully. It was one thing to lose any chance with him prior to the weekend but now, after loving him and being loved by him, she wasn't sure if her heart could withstand losing him.  
"Absolutely," he replied quickly and confidently.  
"In that case, I'll make the call."

Later that evening, Mac arrived at Harm's knowing he still wouldn't be home for at least another hour. After hanging her uniforms and sorting out a few of her clothes and toiletries, she went into the kitchen. Not sure what their dinner plans were, Mac poured herself a glass of milk before settling on the sofa; fatigue from the weekend setting in.

By the time Harm arrived home, Mac was in a deep sleep on the sofa, one of his jackets draped over her. Propping himself on the coffee table, Harm watched her for five minutes, before realising he was missing a vital opportunity. Padding to the bedroom, he changed from his uniform into sweats, grabbed a blanket and returned to the living room. Switching the jacket for the blanket, Harm eased it over her before nestling himself beside her, grinning when she immediately repositioned herself in his arms and sighed contentedly.

It was several hours later Mac awoke and at first couldn't understand the feeling of suffocation she was experiencing, until she realised she was squashed between Harm and the back of the sofa.  
"Harm," she groaned, pushing him back carefully. "Harm, wake up."  
"Mmmac," he murmured, moving closer and wrapping her tightly in his arms.  
"Harm, wake up!" she said with more urgency. If he held her any tighter, her need for a trip to the bathroom would be redundant. "Wake up now!" she called as she shook him.  
"What?!" he said in confusion, moving back so quickly he fell from the sofa. "What's wrong?"  
"Tell you in a minute!" she replied, jumping from the sofa and making a beeline for the bathroom.

Much more composed, Mac returned to find Harm had moved from the floor to the sofa and was rubbing his arm gingerly.  
"Are you okay?" she asked, standing in front of him as she raked her fingers across his scalp.  
"Yeah, just knocked my elbow on the coffee table when I fell," he explained.  
"Sorry about that," she said, kissing his head. "You were squishing me and I needed the bathroom."  
"Oh, sorry," he said, his turn to apologise. "All better now?"  
"Well, maybe if you kiss me it will be," she said with a grin.

Harm wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Mac straddled his lap, her knees resting on the sofa as her body pressed against his. Slowly, Harm brushed his lips across hers before framing his face in his large hands.  
"God, you're beautiful," he murmured before his lips claimed hers and words weren't necessary.

In a manoeuvre designed to see them both horizontal, Harm over estimated the room they had and he ended up on top of Mac on the floor.  
"Ouch!" she said, reaching up to rub the back of her head.  
"Oops," he said with a sheepish grin, trying to pull her back up. "Any damage?"  
"No blood," she replied, checking her hand. "Just a bump."  
"Can I kiss it better?" he asked, caressing her face tenderly, checking her words matched the look in her eyes.  
"Of course," she said, when she caught the look of guilt on his face.

Gently, Harm kissed her crown before trailing the kisses down to her lips once more.  
"Now," he said, pulling back in a move which surprised her. "Let me feed you."  
"Oh, if you insist," Mac said, with a dramatic sigh before a grin spread across her face; she was starving, having eaten very little for lunch and it already being 2100.

Wanting to help, Mac followed Harm into the kitchen and spent the first three minutes kissing him.  
"That's not going to get us anywhere," he said with mock seriousness. "Why don't you go sit on the sofa?"  
"But I want to help," she said with a pout.  
"Well," he began, as his hands gripped her waist and hoisted her onto the bench. "You can help from here."  
"What can I do to help you?" she asked seductively, reaching out to caress his face. Harm's mind went straight to the bedroom and a blush crept into his cheeks. "I'll do that later," she whispered, before kissing him. "What can I do to help with dinner?"

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: They are not mine.**

Two days before Mac's specialist appointment, Harm was sent on investigation to New York for twenty four hours but it was taking longer than anticipated. With her appointment originally scheduled for 0900, Mac put it back to 1600 when Harm promised he'd move heaven and hell to be back.  
It was 1557 and Mac had been waiting anxiously in the waiting room on her own for seventeen minutes and sixteen seconds. At two second intervals her eyes flitted from the door to her cell clutched tightly in her hand. Her stomach was tied in knots and she wasn't sure if it was due to the actual doctor visit or Harm being there or Harm not being there. In her ideal world, Harm would appear, take her hand and hold it tightly as the experienced doctor told them all would be well and there were a dozen kids on the horizon.

The reality, however, was much less ideal. She knew that any minute now she'd enter the room alone, as always, and be told nothing had changed and nothing would improve and then she'd have the heartbreaking task of telling Harm.

Just as she picked up her bag, ready to skip out on the appointment, the nurse appeared in the hallway and called her name. With one last look to the doorway, Mac drew in a deep breath, there was Harm, obviously flustered and exhausted but standing in the doorway none the less. When he held his hand out to her she nearly cried at the sheer relief that he was there and would hear things first hand.  
"Hey, gorgeous," he whispered, kissing her head as they trailed behind the nurse.  
"Didn't think you'd make it," she replied, squeezing his hand.  
"I always keep my promises," he answered, raising their joined hands and kissing hers.  
"Hope so," she muttered, but he'd heard.

One of the first promises he made her was the baby deal and although he knew it was a physical problem on her behalf that was in their way, he couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt that he couldn't give her the baby she so desired. He hadn't lied to her when he told her she was everything he ever wanted, that he didn't need a baby to be happy – but what he'd since realised was that without one, she'd never be happy.

In the weeks between their first consummation of their love and this appointment, amid the incredible time with Mac and the hours JAG demanded, the amazing sex and issues at work, he had researched endometriosis and every available option to have a child if a natural conception and birth wasn't possible. While he had prepared himself for today's visit and knew with certainty that this wouldn't be a 'happily ever after' appointment, he couldn't help but hope in his heart of hearts that the news would be good and 'hey presto' Mac would be pregnant. He could already envision the way she'd look with a big belly and glowing face, and the mere image warmed his heart in ways he couldn't imagine.

Settled in the consultation room waiting for the doctor Mac paced around the room while Harm sat in a chair and watched her intently. When she stopped in front of a picture of a happy, chubby baby for the third time, Harm moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.  
"I'll do anything, anything, to give you this," he rumbled before kissing her head.  
"Thank you," she whispered before turning around and letting him hold her tightly.

"Good afternoon, Sarah," said the doctor before looking up from the file and spying their embrace. "Oh, sorry."  
"Dr Pennington, this is my fiancé, Harmon Rabb. Harm, Dr Michael Pennington," she introduced and then stood aside as the men shook hands.  
"Fiancé?" he said, sitting behind his desk and scanning his notes. "This is a new thing, right?"  
"Yes, Doctor," she replied. "As of three weeks ago."  
"Well, congratulations," he said, standing and shaking Harm's hand once more before taking Mac's hand. "I guess that's the reason for this appointment," he surmised, "to see where things stand, right?"  
"That's right," Mac agreed as Harm reached over and took her hands in one of his. "Just want to see if anything's changed ...improved or ... um... otherwise..."  
"Well, let's see what's happening," he started, opening the file and reviewing the reports of the tests Mac had undertaken the previous week. Lifting page after page and scanning the notes, the doctor nodded to himself as if in confirmation. "Okay," he said with a sigh and Mac's stomach dropped. "There's not a vast amount of difference, Sarah, from the last time these tests were conducted, about fourteen months ago," he said gently, as he rested his elbows on his desk and clasped his hands together. "Now, that's not entirely a bad thing as it show's there's being no deterioration of your condition."  
"So, we still have a less than 5% chance of conception," she said and while she tried hard to keep her voice even and unaffected, Harm could hear the tremor in voice and squeezed her hand.  
"Yes, that's what it looks like," the doctor agreed, before looking between Mac and Harm.  
"What do we do from here?" Harm asked, voicing the question Mac was too scared to ask.  
"Well," he said slowly before grabbing a range of brochures from a side display stand. "There are some medically assisted procedures which would be the best option if you were set on having a biological child. However, you must remember that these procedures and interventions are not guaranteed, they are costly, and they can be extraordinarily stressful on couples."  
Both Harm and Mac nodded; neither spoke.  
"Of course, some couples decide to go down the fostering or adoption path and that's what works for them," he continued, as he passed over the brochures.  
"For the medically assisted procedures, what do we have to do?" Harm asked, looking from Mac to the doctor.  
"Well, there are several excellent fertility specialists here in DC, I could refer you to one of your choice," Dr Pennington explained, grabbing his directory. "They will do a complete work up on both of you and then discuss which method would be the most likely to succeed. Is that the option you'd like to take?"  
"Yes, it is," Harm replied quickly before they both looked at Mac for her confirmation. "What do you think, Mac?" he asked as she gripped his hand so tightly her knuckles were white. "Honey?" he questioned, prying her fingers back carefully. "Is that the way you want to go?"  
"Yes," she whispered before repeating it in a more confident voice. "Yes, that's the way to go."  
Later that night, Harm awoke in his bed not surprised to find Mac's side was empty once more. Seeing the soft glow of a lamp coming from the living room, Harm shrugged on his robe and padded out to her. It broke his heart to see Mac sitting at the end of the sofa, her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs and her head resting on her knees, her body shaking with soft sobs.  
"Hey, hey," he said quickly, moving across to her and settling beside her. "Ssh," he whispered, wrapping her up before kissing her head. Slowly, Mac moved her head to his chest before sliding her hand across his stomach and to his back. "You okay?"  
"Aha," she mumbled, snuggling closer.  
"You were very quiet tonight," he observed, stroking her back. "Do you want to talk to me now?" he offered. Not wanting to pressure her at all, he had allowed her her silence during the evening, he allowed her to redirect any conversation they had had away from uncomfortable topics and he had caressed her head until she fell asleep she climbed into bed and tearfully said goodnight.  
"We're never going to have a baby, are we?" she questioned, her voice choked with emotion.  
"Never is a big word, gorgeous," he said. "It may not happen for us but at this stage we can't say never."  
"What if we go through all this; the tests and medical intervention and spend the money and get all stressed out and there's still nothing at the end of it?" she asked looking up at him; her eyes pleading for him to give her some hope to hold on to.  
"What if we go through all this; the tests and medical intervention and spend the money and get all stressed out and there's a baby at the end of it?" he countered, cupping her face in his hand.  
"What if there's not?" she challenged.  
"What if there is?" he responded.  
"There's a 95% chance it's not going to happen," she whispered sadly, sliding her hand back and clutching onto his robe.  
"There's a 95% chance it's not going to happen on its own," he corrected gently. "We don't know what the odds are with medical assistance and I think we owe it to ourselves to at least see what the fertility specialist has to say."  
"I'm just..." she started but her voice disappeared.  
"Just what, Mac?" he prompted, caressing her face. "Just what?"  
"Just scared," she all but mouthed.  
"Of?" he asked, pulling her into his lap and holding her tightly.  
"Of never knowing what it is to be a family," she confessed, playing with the belt on his robe.  
"I'm your family, Mac," he said, drawing her face up and kissing her nose. "For now and evermore, I am your family."  
"Promise?" she questioned as her tears ran unchecked down her cheeks.  
"A hundred times, yes," he said, peppering kissing around her face. "Question is," he began before drawing back and this time it was Harm's turn for tears. He had no idea what it took to convince Mac that she was it for him, that his life was complete with her ... then the thought struck him that maybe the reverse wasn't true. "Am I family enough for you?"

Hearing his mournful tone and seeing the tears slip silently down his face, Mac moved to straddle his lap before framing his face with her hands and holding it just inches for hers.  
"You are family enough for me," she said, her tears running free. "And I never meant to make you think you weren't – I'm so, so sorry," she said as she wept. "You are all I need, all I ever needed. Do you understand that?" Harm nodded.  
"It's just you want a baby too?" he asked, his hands on her back, pulling her to him.  
"Yeah, I do," she admitted softly. "But that in no way means you don't mean the world to me."  
"Okay," he whispered, resting his head in the crook of her neck.

Several long minutes later, Mac pulled back and climbed off his lap before holding out her hand.  
"Can we please go to bed and just hold each other?" she asked shyly.  
Taking her hand, Harm nodded and stood before hooking his arm around her shoulders and walking them into the bedroom, hoping a good night's sleep would help both of them.

**Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: they still don't belong to me.  
**  
The following morning, Harm awoke pleased that Mac was still snug in his arms not having moved since they returned to bed in the early hours. As he became more alert, he realised she probably hadn't had much of a chance to escape as she was pulled flush to his body, one of his arms was around the back of her neck, as her head rested on his chest, and the other was linked over the top. In addition, one of his legs had threaded through hers whilst the other was hooked over the mass of limbs. All in all, Mac couldn't have moved if she had wanted too. Still, Harm was happy enough to know she was still in bed with him.

Gently, Harm reached down and kissed the top of her head before bringing his hand up to push back the strands of hair covering her face.  
"Mmmmorning," she murmured, pulling herself even closer to him.  
"Morning, gorgeous," he replied, kissing her once more before releasing his still tight grip on her.  
"Don't..." she mumbled and Harm looked at her concerned.  
"Don't what, Mac?" he asked, stroking her face.  
"Don't let go of me," she whispered, pulling him back to her.

Instantly, Harm increased the pressure of his grasp, knowing that after holding her so tightly for the last five hours his muscles would complain when he got up, but it was a small price to pay for her comfort.  
"You doing okay?" he whispered into her ear before kissing it. Mac nodded into his chest. "Really?" he probed; from where he lay this didn't look like okay to him.  
"Yeah," she replied, finally looking up at him.  
"Aren't you feeling squashed?" he asked, without releasing any pressure.  
"No, I'm feeling ..._safe_," she answered shyly, before dropping her head back to the crook of his neck.  
"Safe?" he queried and she nodded once more but it didn't clarify the meaning for him. "How?" he prompted.

Mac sighed deeply; she wasn't sure how to explain it even if she had wanted to. Being here with Harm, like this, brought her a sense of immense security the likes she had never known. It wasn't a physical safety, after all she was a marine and a highly trained one at that, she was full sure she could take on any one who dared cross her path. It was emotional safety he was giving her, not that she was sure if there was such a thing or, if there was, that was the name of it. Right here, right now, in his arms she felt safe... anything more than that she'd have to explain another time.  
"Just...safe," she replied, rolling back and pulling him around with her.  
"Okay," he conceded. While he wasn't really sure what she meant, he was happy to know she was more than comfortable with him and that was enough.

Several minutes passed before she spoke once more.  
"AJ wants to come over tomorrow and spend the night," she said quietly. "You think that will be alright?"  
"It's fine by me," Harm replied, kissing her head. "But how do you feel about it?" he questioned, after all, she was the one with a lot of unresolved baby issues.  
"Good," she replied, trying to stretch without letting go of Harm. "He's been asking for the last three weeks and I think he'll drive Harriet crazy if we put it off any longer."  
"That's true," he said, caressing her face. "Doesn't quite answer my question though. Are you alright about having a kid around given yesterday's appointment?"  
"Yeah, I am," she said quietly. "Might have been a bit harder if he was much younger, but he's nine, so I'm good with that."

The blaring of the alarm disturbed their peacefulness and Mac rolled with Harm as he leant back to turn it off. She knew they should get up but something inside her was reluctant to let him go just yet. This surprised Harm as Mac was the one who always insisted on climbing out of bed and making sure they were at Headquarters on time. He, however, was known for his tardiness and a few more minutes in bed suited him just fine.

"We need to stay at my place with AJ," Mac said, breaking the silence. "He seems to think sleeping on my sofa will be a big adventure."  
"We could just as easily stay here," Harm said, enjoying Mac being in his bed on more and more occasions.  
"We could," she agreed, "But he also wants to look at my dinosaur things and the only dinosaur thing here is you," she added before kissing him. Harm could only laugh. "But if you..."  
"No," he said quickly. "We can stay at your place...no dramas."

Drawing a deep breath, Harm knew this would be the perfect opportunity to bring up a topic which had occupied his mind of late. Given that they were engaged and that they would have a meeting with Cresswell in the near future to discuss their options, then perhaps moving in together would be logical step.  
"Mac," he began slowly as he raked his fingers through her hair. "I've been thinking that this to-ing and fro-ing between our apartments is a bit unnecessary..."  
"You don't want me to stay over as much?" she asked, trying to prop herself up but Harm wouldn't release his hold on her.  
"No, I never said that," he said quickly. "Just thought that you might want to consider a more permanent arrangement."  
"Like move in here?" she asked, looking up at him.  
"Maybe more like me moving in with you," he explained, "At least til we know what our career options are and then maybe look for something together."

For several long minutes Mac contemplated Harm's comment, before placing her still bare left hand on his chest.  
"Well, as we are intending to marry then I guess sharing a place now is a good way to start," she replied, her voice devoid of excitement.  
"We don't have to, Mac," he said quickly. "If this is all going too fast then we can take our time."  
"You don't want to?" she asked, looking up at him tearfully.  
"Oh, I do, very much, honey," he whispered before stealing a kiss. "I just didn't think you sounded very excited by the prospect."  
"I am excited," she answered, "I just thought ... that well..." Her voice trailed as she held up her bare hand. "We haven't even got a ring yet."  
"Well, that's not entirely my fault," he responded with a chuckle.

They had made plans three times to visit the jewellers. The first time Mac had made him stop at the electronics store nearby so she could buy a new cable for her phone charger. Ninety three minutes later, Harm was loading a 46inch flat screen television into his SUV for his living room and a similar 21 inch for the bedroom. He had argued that he didn't need such devices, he wasn't into television and as such they were a waste of money. Mac had explained that as she would be spending time there when he wasn't, she could do with the company. Although Harm really hadn't wanted the purchases, he conceded, if only to himself, that if it meant coming home to a happy Mac at his place, then it would be worth every bit of the near $2000 he'd just spent.

Their second expedition had never eventuated past Mac's bedroom. Mac was dressing in her bedroom as Harm had emerged from the shower, a blue towel wrapped around his waist while water drops still adorned his upper body. Deciding she should really help him out, Mac used her tongue on a few drops along his collarbone and before he knew it they were naked once more.

On the third occasion, duty intervened and the trip was postponed so, here they were three weeks from the night Harm had proposed and no ring.  
"I know it hasn't been all your fault," she said, sighing against him. "Just one of those things."  
"Well," he drawled, rolling them back and stretching to retrieve something from his side drawer. "What if we use this for now?"  
"You bought one?" she asked almost breathless.  
"No, not exactly," he replied, carefully opening the box. "This was the one my grandfather gave my grandmother and my father gave my mother."  
"Oh my!" Mac exclaimed. "It's gorgeous."  
"Like you," he whispered, kissing her head.  
"Didn't you want me to have it?" she asked, staring up at him.  
"No," he said before realising how that sounded. "I mean I'd be honoured if you wore it, I just thought that maybe you'd want your own one. Something new. A symbol that's just us."  
"This is a symbol of us; it has a history of such endless love and devotion, it's perfect," she whispered as her tears began to fall.  
"In that case," Harm said, taking the ring from the box and slipping it onto her finger. "Sarah MacKenzie, would you please be my wife?"  
"Yes," she replied before pulling him to her and kissing him thoroughly.

Standing side by side in the elevator, arms barely brushing, Mac shook her head.  
"Thirty seven minutes late," she hissed, though there was no one else but Harm there.  
"And your point?" he asked with a smirk.  
"You are a bad influence on me," she replied, glaring at him.  
"Me!" he exclaimed with mock offence. "As I recall, it was you who undressed me."  
"Well, I needed you naked," she said, a slight blush coming to her cheeks.  
"And you got what you needed," he whispered with a chuckle before brushing a kiss across her cheek.

As the doors opened, Harm and Mac straightened and took a step away from each other, their professional personas in place. Three steps from the elevator and Jennifer Coates stepped up to them.  
"Morning, sir, ma'am," she said. "General Cresswell was expecting you in his office twenty five minutes ago," she informed them, holding out her arms to collect their covers and cases.  
"Thanks, Petty Officer," Mac said, as she straighten her shirt.  
Standing in front of the General's door, Harm brushed his knuckles against Mac's before raising them to rap on the door.  
"Enter," General Cresswell growled and watched as his two senior officers came to stand in front of his desk.

While externally, he was keeping a gruff front, internally he was smiling to himself at the sight before him. He recalled them entering his office a little over two weeks ago to inform him that there had been a change in the status of their relationship. They had looked like scared little children who had been sent to the principal's office for the first time. Today, they looked slightly more apprehensive and he thought that may be due to the fact they had been tardy.  
"At ease," he said, standing up from his desk. "I was expecting you earlier."  
"Sorry, sir," they replied in unison.  
"Any reason you want to give?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"Can we just say we were otherwise 'engaged'?" Mac asked hesitantly before holding up her hand to show her commanding officer her newly acquired piece of jewellery.  
"Well, I guess I can excuse you this time," he said, rounding his desk. "Congratulations," he said, shaking her hand before kissing her cheek. "And to you too, Commander," he added, turning to shake Harm's hand. "Although I'm still not sure about bringing a sailor into the Marine family."  
"Thank you, General," Harm said, "I promise I'll be worthy."  
"Okay, be seated," he said, pointing to the chairs. "Now, in our last conversation, you indicated the need to change the designate for one of you and obviously that is still the case?"  
"Yes, sir," they replied.  
"And as I promised, I have made enquiries on your behalf," he continued, dropping back into his seat and opening the file. "There are two viable options that have come up. The first one involves the Colonel remaining here with JAG, while Commander, you'd be heading to the Pentagon as a legal liaison officer for the Navy. The second option would be for the Commander to remain here whilst, Colonel, you'd take up a position in the judiciary."

Harm and Mac looked at each other, neither sure which one was for the best but happy they could work something out which would see them remaining in the same geographic location.  
"Now," General Cresswell continued. "I'm not going to tell you which way to go, however, I will let you know that I have heard scuttlebutt that you, Colonel, are being looked at to head up the San Diego office ...while it would be an excellent career move, there seems to be no position on the horizon in the same location for you, Commander. If you took the first option, I think there would still be pressure for you to take up that position. If you moved to the judiciary, I think they'd leave you be."  
"So, you're saying we should take the second option?" Harm asked, looking from his boss to his fiancée.  
"No, I'm saying you should just discuss the information that I have given you and see what you come up with," General Cresswell said, standing up once more. "Now, I need a decision sooner rather than later. So, I am giving you permission to secure early, as in now, to consider your options. That and the weekend means you have until 0800 Monday before informing me of your decision. Understood?"  
"Yes, sir," they both said, standing.  
"And, try to be punctual and not 'otherwise engaged'," he added with a smirk.  
"Aye, aye, sir."

**Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: they still don't belong to me.  
**

Travelling down in the elevator not twenty six minutes after they'd arrived, Harm laced his fingers through Mac's. A little hesitant at first, due to the fact that they were not alone, Mac decided there was nothing wrong, after all it was discreet, they were getting married and, most importantly, she couldn't wait until they got into the car to touch him.

Slipping into the car, Mac rested her hand on Harm's thigh as he pushed the key into the ignition.  
"So," she started, "What do you think we should do?"  
"I think we should run some errands before we head back to your apartment," he replied, reversing the car from its spot.  
"I meant about the options Cresswell gave us," she said, turning to face him.  
"I know," he replied with a nod. "I still think we should pick up the supplies we need for the weekend before going to your place. That way we can bunker down and discuss it all and come up with a decision prior to getting AJ tomorrow."  
"What if we can't make a decision by then?" she asked, gently squeezing his thigh.  
"I have confidence we can," he said knowing full well that he could live with the options given to them by the general.  
"Me too," Mac said with a smile, she'd been thinking the same.

Ambling the aisles in the grocery store, Harm pushed the trolley while Mac kept throwing in all sorts of items.  
"Chocolate syrup, Honey Smacks, Hershey Kisses, Coke..." Harm said doing an inventory of some of the goodies. "You'll be in a sugar coma if you eat all this."  
"Not just me, some of it's for AJ," she corrected as she placed a container of double choc fudge and one of vanilla ice cream in with the rest.  
"Well, in that case I guess we'll be footing the bill for his dental care too," he said with a laugh.  
"The syrup is for you," she whispered seductively into his ear as she dropped a bag of marshmallows into the trolley.  
"I don't use chocolate syrup," he said, shaking his head.  
"Yeah, I know, but I thought I might be able to tempt you," she cooed, caressing his face. "It is delicious over ice cream...over pancakes...over me."

Harm gulped and picked up the pace, he definitely needed to be in a more private place and devoid of his uniform before he acted on any of the thoughts coursing through his brain.

Stacking the last of their purchases into Mac's cupboards, Harm was surprised to discover Mac had disappeared from the kitchen. After putting the cartons of milk into the fridge, he set off to find her and only had to look as far as the living room. Standing near the bureau, Mac had picked up the christening photo of herself, Harm and baby AJ taken over eight years ago. Tracing the image of the baby wrapped up in her arms, Mac bit down on her lip in an effort to stop the trembling. Focused on the photo she didn't hear Harm's approach but felt his arms slip around her waist.

"It's a beautiful picture," Harm said, kissing her head.  
"It is," she agreed in a whisper.  
"What are you thinking?" he asked, resting his chin on her shoulder.  
"That we're very lucky to be his godparents," she replied before turning in his arms and pressing into him.  
"We are very lucky," Harm agreed, kissing her forehead.  
"And ... and... I do want one of my own...our own," she amended, leaning her head on his chest and not daring to look at him.  
"Well, why don't we start by making an appointment with the specialist?" he questioned, holding her tighter.  
"I'm scared," she whispered hoarsely, her head still ducked. "What happens if we find out there's no chance of having a baby?"

Tenderly, Harm caressed her cheek before cupping her chin and raising her face to meet his.  
"You tell me what happens?" he asked gently, wanting to hear her version first.  
"I don't know," she whispered tearfully. "I guess we remain childless."  
"Except that we already have Mattie and Chloe and AJ in our lives, and Jimmy and the twins," Harm replied, stroking her cheek.  
"But they're not ours," she said, her voice breaking.  
"No, they're not," he agreed. "But they are a part of our lives."  
"It's not the same though," she said, trying to drop her head but Harm's hold remained gentle but firm.  
"Sweetheart," he said, brushing his thumb over the swell of her cheek. Anything he was going to say was lost when he saw the fear and pain in her eyes. "Let's take one thing at a time, okay? We'll make the appointment and see the specialist and then see what's what. Okay?"  
Slowly Mac nodded before falling deep into his arms and holding him close. "Okay," she agreed though her voice was muffled by his shirt.  
"Okay," he repeated, trying to convince himself as well.

Later that evening Harm and Mac lay entwined on the sofa pretending to watch a documentary on exotic animals though neither fooling the other. After the earlier emotional conversation, the topic of career paths had been shelved. Thinking he should at least know what Mac was thinking, Harm hesitantly broached the subject.

"Interesting show," Harm observed as he ran his fingers through her tresses.  
"Not really watching," Mac admitted, turning around to be laying on him.  
"Me neither," he agreed, linking his hands behind her back and holding her close.  
"We should talk, shouldn't we?" she questioned, as she studied his face.  
"Yeah, we should," he acknowledged quickly. "But only if you're up for it."  
"I am, and besides we need a decision by Monday," she said, moving to sit up but Harm's hold remained. "You going to let me up?"  
"You need to be up?" he countered.  
"Well, I figured as this is about our careers, it should be a serious conversation," she commented.  
"We can do serious like this," he replied, rubbing his hand along her spine. "But if you ..."  
"No," she said quickly. "I'm good here."  
"Well, what do you think?" Harm prompted, gazing at the love of his life.  
"Since we first got together, I've been thinking about us and the way I see it is really simple," she said quietly. "I want to be with you, regardless of position or location, just want to be with you."  
"And I want to be with you," he agreed before kissing her nose. "And thankfully, the options allow us to do that. The question is, whether you want to stay at headquarters or join the judiciary."  
"Well, do you want to be at headquarters or The Pentagon?" she countered, wriggling up on him and resting her forearms on his chest.

For a long few moments Harm studied Mac's face, trying to get a read on her true thoughts but she was giving nothing away.  
"Harm?" she prompted.  
"If you go to the judiciary then we stay in DC or the surrounds, if I go to The Pentagon, you could end up in San Diego and where would that leave us?" he asked quietly.  
"It would leave me a whole lot closer to your parents and you, quite possibly, here or between posts," she said.  
"Weatherwise San Diego is a better option," Harm remarked. "But it would mean a complete life change."  
"Would you come to San Diego with me?" she asked quietly.  
"In a heartbeat," he promised, kissing her head. "Do you want to go to San Diego?"  
"No, I think I'd rather opt for the judiciary, I just wanted to make sure you'd be with me wherever I go," she whispered.  
"For you, Mac, I'd follow you to the ends of the earth and back," he declared before kissing her deeply.

Long after the kiss ended and Mac had settled back onto his chest, playing with the buttons on his shirt, she realised the conversation was only half done.  
"We only talked about what I wanted," she started quietly. "You never got to voice your opinion, honey."  
"I think staying at headquarters would be a good thing, for now," he answered. "It will give me a chance to see out my twenty years and enough time to investigate our parental options and then we can see."  
"You don't see The Pentagon as a good move for you?" she asked, her fingers tapping time on his chest.  
"It may be," Harm said, with a nod. "But ... well, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately ... even before us ... and I was contemplating retiring..."  
"Retiring? Really? You never said anything," Mac interrupted and Harm nodded.  
"I never said anything as I wasn't sure," he continued. "I guess I had been feeling a little aimless and was looking towards my future and what it would entail."

"Did it entail me?" she asked shyly.  
"Even when we weren't together, I could never imagine my life, my future, without you," he whispered, holding her tighter.  
Mac smiled, all the times she had imagined her life over recent years, Harm had always featured – whether they were on talking terms or not.  
"So, you and me forever, right?" she checked, tilting her head and biting her lip.  
"Forever and ever," he replied, caressing her face.  
"So we'll tell Cresswell that you'll be staying and I'll be going," she confirmed.  
"Yes, we will," he agreed.

Suddenly Mac dropped her head as her body started to shudder, thinking she was crying, Harm tried to sit up but couldn't manage it.  
"Mac, honey, sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked with quiet desperation.

Gently, raising her face, Harm was surprised to find Mac was actually laughing. Her quiet rumbling laughter was contagious and before he knew it Harm was laughing too – though he wasn't too sure what was so funny.  
"What is it?" he asked, wiping away her tears.  
"It was so simple," she chuckled. "After all these years and fears and all, it worked out so simply in the end."  
"We always did like making things more complicated than they had to be," Harm agreed, smiling.  
"Well, you always did," she said, brushing her lips across his.  
"Well, let me make things simple," he stated before kissing her deeply.

The kiss escalated and soon they were headed towards the bedroom, clothes strewn as they navigated the furniture. One misstep saw Mac stumble into the bureau, the next misstep saw Harm collide with the bedroom door jamb, neither seemed to notice. They did, however, notice when Mac backed into the bed rather quickly and brought Harm crashing down too as her back collided with the mattress.  
"God, Mac, are you alright?" he asked concerned, trying to roll off her as she caught her breath.

Quickly and firmly, Mac held him in place. She wasn't alright but knew how to make things a whole lot better and her first task was to wrap her legs around his waist and make sure he knew just what part he had to play in it – the man was a fast learner.

Tenderly, he kissed her lips before trailing a line of hot, breathy kisses across her jaw and down her neck before pausing to suck on a pulse point. Groaning and moaning, Mac writhed underneath him, desperate for hot contact of another kind.  
"Now, Harm," she urged, tugging his head up. "Please...."  
"All in due time," he replied with a grin, more than impressed with his ability to get her into this state.  
"Now!" she growled and Harm laughed. While Mac wasn't in a position or mood to argue with him about his over inflated ego, she stored it away for later reference.  
"Yes, ma'am," he said, bringing his hand up for a quick salute before putting it to use by teasing her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.  
"Ass," she muttered, before digging her carefully manicured fingernails into his and letting him know exactly what she wanted, again and again and again.

Hours later when they were more than sated and satisfied, two hot, slick bodies lay entwined in the darkness of the bedroom. Fatigue set in quickly in the afterglow of their amazing encounter as Harm wearily raked his fingers through Mac's damp hair.  
"Do you know how much I love you?" he asked before pressing a kiss to her crown.  
"This much," she replied, raising her arm and stretching it as far back as she could manage.  
"That's only an infinitesimal amount of my love for you," he corrected, kissing her once more.  
"Infinitesimal?" Mac muttered. "Such a big word."  
"Such a big love," he whispered in response.  
"Love you, Harmy," she cooed as sleep claimed her.  
"Harmy?" he questioned, managing to open one eye.

The only response came in the form of breathy sounds of sleep.  
"Harmy," he said to himself. The last person to call him Harmy was his mother when he was seven and unwell. The thought made him smile – it made sense that the only two women who had ever called him that had been the ones who loved him unconditionally - his mother and Sarah MacKenzie.

**Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: they still don't belong to me.  
**

Slumber, blissful slumber – the thing about the perfect night's sleep is that it is a myth. Having fallen asleep quickly and slept deeply, Mac was woken from her warm, safe cocoon way too early by the ring of Harm's cell on the bedside table. 0713 was the time registering in her brain. Who on earth could be calling at this time? Pretending she wasn't awake, Mac stayed still as Harm rolled to pick up the offending object.

A huge smile broke out on her face when she realised who the caller was.  
"Hey, AJ," Harm said, trying to sound more alert. "No, kiddo, it's not too early to call. Something up? No, Aunty Mac and I haven't changed our minds. We'll be there by 10:00. I promise...no, I won't be late. I know I usually am by Aunty Mac will make sure of it..." Harm couldn't help but smile when he heard Harriet growl in the background. "Oooh, sounds like your mom isn't too happy. Okay, kiddo, we'll see you soon."

Placing his cell back where he'd found it, Harm wrapped his arm back around Mac and kissed her head.  
"AJ get busted for calling so early?" Mac muttered, rolling into him.  
"Yep, wouldn't like to be in his shoes right now," Harm said with a chuckle.  
"He's just so excited," she replied. "I think he's more excited about a weekend without his younger siblings than anything else."  
"Oh, I think he was pretty excited about going to the air and space museum," he stated. "It's all he could talk about Wednesday."  
"It's all you could talk about," Mac corrected. "I think you are far more excited by the trip than AJ is."  
"No," Harm said, but could think of nothing in his own defence. "Well, maybe."  
"You're so cute," she whispered, hoisting herself on top of him and brushing her lips across his.  
"Cute? Am not," he retorted, poking out his tongue.  
"Oh, definitely cute," she replied before kissing him deeply and putting the tongue to other uses.

As things began to heat up, Mac realised they had to keep to a schedule to avoid being late for AJ.  
"Think you can wrap things up here in under thirty eight minutes?" she asked as he nipped at her neck.  
"Yeah, why? You gonna time me?" he mumbled around her flesh.  
"No, just don't want to be late for ..." she replied, before his hand slipped between her legs and her words were lost.  
"You were saying?" Harm chided as his fingers caressed her deep beneath the bedcovers.  
"Shut up," she mumbled, tugging his face around so she could kiss him once more.  
"Love you," he whispered hoarsely before her mouth possessed his.

From her vantage point on top, Mac was able to control the pace of proceedings and soon she found herself straddled across him as she rocked at a slow and steady pace. Harm's hands were intent on investigating every inch of her flesh available to him and every time Mac leant forward, he'd claim one nipple in his mouth while his fingers teased the other.

With sensations flooding her body, Mac picked up the speed bringing herself to the brink time and time and again.  
"All the way, Mac, go all the way," Harm encouraged, with his hands on her hips, helping her to maintain the rhythm.  
"Wanna wait for you," she panted, trying to resist Harm's efforts to speed things up further.  
"Oh, I'm right with you," he managed, breathing heavily. "Honestly, Mac...I'm there."  
"But ... still ... got seventeen minutes," she said, her time telling ability not at all impacted by the activities.

As Mac rocked back, Harm thrust up, reaching places deep within Mac's body, causing her to moan with the immense feeling it generated.  
"Goddammit," she muttered.  
"Too much?" he asked quickly.  
"More..." she panted, increasing her rocking and Harm dutifully obeyed, thrusting as deep as he could with each of her backward motions.  
"Now, Mac, now," he called, knowing he'd be spent with the next thrust.

Emitting a long guttural sound, somewhere between ecstasy and agony, Mac shattered around him, her body still rocking on him in a somewhat involuntary motion. It was enough to send Harm into the same blissful oblivion and as soon as the orgasmic haze started to fade, he brought Mac's sweat slicked body down onto his and sloppily kissed her head.  
"'Mazing," Mac muttered, as her hand curled around his neck.  
"Perfect," Harm replied, his arms anchoring her to him and their breathing and heart rates decreased.

For a while they lay there in the silence of the early morn, his softening erection still inside her as they stayed together, neither wanting the moment to end any sooner than it had too.  
"If we want to be ready on time then one of us should hit the showers," Mac said, not moving from her position.  
"We could shower together and save time," Harm remarked, his eyes still closed.  
"If we shower together we'll never get out of the apartment," she replied, rolling off him and missing the intimacy instantly.  
"Yes, we will," he reassured her, sitting up slowly and swinging his legs over the edge. "We'll just use the time we would have used for the second shower."  
"Good thinking," she replied, sitting up and intently watching his bare form head into the bathroom and start the shower.  
"Like what you see?" he sassed when he turned around to find her watching his every move.  
"Mmm," she replied without enthusiasm.  
"Mmm?" he questioned from inside the bathroom. "Just mmm?"

Checking on the water once more, Harm turned back and sexily sashayed back into the bedroom and Mac had to remind herself not to drool. "I think you like what you see!" he said confidently. "I think you like very, very, very much."  
"Oh well, I guess I do like," she said quietly as he crawled across the bed to her.  
"You guess?" he growled playfully.  
"Yep," she replied trying to kiss him, but Harm pulled back.  
"Well, maybe you like the rear view better," he said, and scooted from the bed before swaying his hips and shaking his six all the way back into the bathroom. "Shower's ready..."

In an instant, Mac was under the hot and steamy stream of water, pressing Harm up against the wall.

It was a fairly quiet journey out to the Roberts' house and Harm knew it wasn't an easy silence as he floored the accelerator and tried to make up for lost time. True, it was Mac who made the move on him in the shower but he had to admit they were still running on time until he spied her pulling on her well fitting jeans and his brain and a certain other part of his anatomy went into conflict as to which course of action he should take.

Being a fair and reasonable man, Harm knew that over the almost decade he had known her, his brain overrode his bodily impulses on each and every occasion, save for the past three weeks. Therefore, it was only fair that his brain did not win this one. In an almost animalistic move, Harm had thrown Mac onto the mattress and helped her out of the jeans just as quickly as she had put them on. While, to Mac's credit, she did protest and pull back enough to tell him to stop, when he did indeed stop and asked if she was sure, she'd shaken her head and pulled him back to her.

"We're not late," he commented as he turned into the Roberts' street.  
"It's 1012," Mac remarked, looking up the street to the house. "See AJ's on the doorstep waiting."  
"It's only twelve minutes," Harm said in his defence.  
"It'll seem like a lifetime to him," she replied.  
"Well, when he's older, he'll appreciate the reasons why couples are late," he answered, pulling into the driveway.  
"You have an answer for everything, don't you?" she questioned with a smile.  
"Only when it comes to being late," he replied with a wink. "After all, I am an expert."

As they opened the doors to the car, AJ came running from the porch and towards Mac.  
"Aunty Mac, hi," he said, giving her a big hug. "I knew you'd be late if you let Uncle Harm drive."  
"Hey, nothing wrong with my driving," he called out, trying to sound offended.  
"No, I know," AJ said, rounding the car and hugging his godfather. "But Aunty Mac has that cool time telling thing and you don't which is why you're never on time."  
"How about we go see your folks?" Harm said, resting his hand on the boy's shoulder, he wasn't going to defend himself to a nine year old.

Running ahead, AJ tore into the house announcing the arrival of his godparents in something of a yell. This was followed by both his parents telling him to quieten down.  
"Hi, Mac, Harm," Bud said, fully opening the door. "Come on in. It seems you have an extremely excited young boy on your hands. Up to the challenge?"  
"Definitely," Harm replied with a grin, before patting him on the shoulder in greeting.  
"I think they're the perfect match for each other," commented Mac as Harriet came into the room.

After greetings were exchanged, Harriet sent AJ upstairs to collect his things.  
"I'm so sorry about AJ's phone call this morning, he was just excited to get the day underway," Harriet apologised.  
"That's okay," Harm replied.  
"I hope he didn't disturb you," she added and Harm grinned, shaking his head. AJ hadn't disturbed anything, quite the contrary; he'd given them the opportunity to start the way in a more physical manner, and one that didn't involve a long run.

With his overnight bag packed into the trunk, last minute instructions from his father, last minute warnings from his mother and farewell hugs and kisses that seemed to go on forever, AJ was buckled up safely in the back seat of the SVU.  
"Ready to go, kiddo?" Harm asked, glancing in the rear view mirror.  
"Sure am!" he replied excitedly.  
"Where's the first stop?" he asked, looking at Mac and winking.  
"The Smithsonian Air and Space Museum," AJ called out. "The National Mall building one – not the other one...not the Udvar-Hazy Center."  
"You seem to know a lot about it, AJ," Mac commented, smiling at the boy's enthusiasm.  
"I Googled it!" he stated proudly. "I found all the things I want to see and there's a thing at IMAX that looks really cool..." he continued before his mother's words about being grateful and gracious and not demanding, came back to him. "That is of course if you guys want to see it because if you don't that's okay we can do something else...it's only a suggestion, you know..."  
"How about you take a breath, AJ, then tell me about the IMAX movie you want to see?" Harm said as Mac's hand came to rest on his thigh and squeezed it gently.  
"Well...." he started before inhaling deeply and expelling the air loudly...

**Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: they still don't belong to me.  
**

As anybody who has travelled with excited young children know, there was little else heard during the trip into the heart of DC but AJ's constant chatter about everything they would see at the museum. At one stage, Harm was going to ask if there was any need to go as AJ seemed to know it all already, but he didn't. Instead he took a deep breath and enjoyed the ramblings of a nine year old.

After pulling into a parking bay and turning off the engine gave AJ the first indication they were there.

"Oh my gosh, that was fast!" he exclaimed as he unbuckled his seatbelt. "I still thought we had ages and ages to go."

"Nope, we're here," said Mac, taking his hand as they threaded their way through the car park.

"What time is it, Aunty Mac?" he asked, nearly skipping along beside her with anticipation.

"It's 11:09, why?" she asked, as she checked for traffic before crossing the road.

"Well, we've missed the 11:00 show for the fighter pilot one but it's on again later; I really do think we should let Uncle Harm see that – I bet it's so cool."

Mac laughed before turning around to check for the man in question. He had stopped to tie his shoe.

"Hey, Mac," he called when he saw her looking. "Wait up."

In a few long brisk strides, Harm had made up the ground and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

.,.

Going in through the security check, the trio paused to study the building plan.

"Why don't we check the IMAX schedule and sort that out and then see what we do with the rest of the time?" Mac suggested as her companions attention flickered between the building plan and the planes suspended overhead.

"Good idea, Aunty Mac," said AJ enthusiastically, tugging her along.

Standing in front of the Lockheed Martin Theatre, Harm scanned the schedule and the movie synopses. A puzzled look settled on his face as Mac studied him.

"What's up?" she asked in a whisper.

"Can't decide between 'To Fly' and 'Fighter Pilot'," he whispered in return.

"Well, we can see both," she replied, knowing there was no guarantee they'd have the opportunity to do this again anytime soon.

"Would you sit through both?" he asked, his voice still hushed.

"Of course, besides it's not like they're full length movies or anything," she said, reassuring him with a hug.

"Mom says it's rude to whisper," AJ said, turning around and facing them.

"Sorry," the replied in unison.

Suitably chastised, Harm figured they owed the boy and explanation and told him of their conversation. "Is that alright with you?" he added at the end.

"Yeah, man, that's totally cool," he said, hugging his godfather. "If we do the afternoon sessions then we can look around first and have lunch before we go in."

"Sounds like a plan," Mac said, her fingers lacing with Harm's.

"Lead the way," Harm encouraged the boy and smiled as AJ took his other hand and tugged them into the first exhibition he came too.

./.

Mac soon learnt that viewing things in a museum with a child is an entirely experience than by yourself or with a friend. No sooner had they reach the exhibit, AJ had scanned it, read the title of the blurb and was ready to move on. Harm on the other hand was intent on a deeper study of each exhibit and Mac had to smile when she saw the look of adoration on his face when he was looking at the Wright brothers' first plane.

More interested in the happiness of a certain pilot than the aircraft surrounding them, Mac kept up with AJ and allowed Harm to move at a slower pace.

"Uncle Harm really loves this stuff, doesn't he?" AJ questioned as they stood waiting for Harm to catch up with them once more.

"Yes, he does," Mac said with a smile.

"Is it because his dad was a pilot too?" he asked, looking up at Mac.

"Yes, I think it is," she replied, ruffling his hair.

"He was only little when his dad died, wasn't he?" AJ asked, remembering something he was told years ago.

"Yes, he was," she replied.

"I was little when I nearly lost my dad. I can't imagine what it would have been like if dad had died," he said quietly, there was little sadness in his voice, just wonderment.

"I'm very glad you never got to find out," she replied, holding him close and kissing his head.

./.

Spying the embrace, Harm strode over and wrapped his arm around each of them.

"Group hug," he said and as Mac looked up at him he saw tears in her eyes.

"What?" he mouthed.

"Love you," she replied before kissing his cheek.

"Love you too," he replied, kissing her head.

"Let's go," said AJ said, not impressed with the mushiness of the situation.

Several more exhibits and morning was gone.

"Can we have lunch now, Aunty Mac?" AJ asked as they stood waiting for Harm once more.

"Sure," she replied. "Let's go tell Uncle Harm."

Heading off to the Wright Place Food Court, Mac claimed the first empty, clean, table they came too.

"Go check out what you want and I'll wait here," she said, dropping into a chair.

"Aye, aye, ma'am," Harm replied and AJ laughed.

./.

Watching the pair as they navigated their way around the various outlets, Mac couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness that they may never have the opportunity to do these things with a child of their own. Trying to quell the emotions rising within her, Mac studied the steel hash design of the table top, trying to calculate the number of squares it contained.

"McDonalds," AJ announced breaking into her thoughts. Of all the options available to him, it was the good old McDonalds. "What about you?"

"Oh, um...I don't know," Mac said with a quick shake of her head.

"I could get you something," Harm offered, not sure what to make of the look on her face.

"Don't do it, Aunty Mac," AJ whispered loudly. "He'll get you something healthy...he tried to make me get a tofu burger...it looked gross...all that salad stuff."

Mac laughed and hugged AJ close, glad she had an ally in the fight against Harm and his vegetarian ways.

By the time they arrived home, they were exhausted. AJ's chatter had slowed considerably and Mac knew the child would sleep well. The evening was fairly simple, Harm's spaghetti for dinner and then watching 'Night at the Museum II' which they'd purchased in the gift shop. Cuddled up together on the sofa, Mac spent more of the time watching the faces of Harm and AJ as the story continued, she couldn't help but feel they'd miss out of something amazing if they never had a child of their own.

With a shake of her head, she turned her attention back to the screen and tried to bury the thoughts deep inside but her attention was fleeting and so she closed her eyes instead.

"Are you tired?" Harm asked, kissing her head.

"Yeah," she replied with a sigh. It wasn't so much her physical tiredness, it was the mental tiredness of the unknown, but this wasn't the time for such disclosures.

"Anything else up?" he questioned, his eyes darting to AJ, ensuring he was preoccupied with the movie.

Closing her eyes once more, Mac shook her head before nestling it into the crook of his neck and hugging him, Harm just held her. It didn't take a genius to figure out that a weekend with AJ was bringing up all her maternal feelings and all those about her almost nil chance of conceiving.

./.

Long after AJ was bedded down on the sofa and Mac and Harm had crawled into their own bed, Mac lay awake, listening to the sounds of slumber coming from her fiancé. Desperate for sleep herself, she did the only thing that had worked for her recently, and that was to climb onto Harm and wake him up.

"Mmmmac," he managed when she let him catch his breath.

"Ssh," she hushed him as she reached down to push his boxers lower.

"Mac," he repeated in a quieter manner. "AJ's in the next room."

'"He won't hear us if you're quiet," she replied, pushing her underwear down.

"Me? You're the one who..." Anything else was lost when her mouth clamped on his and she let her body do all the talking.

With swift actions and rapid motions, Mac gained the response from Harm she was looking for and quickly settled herself on him. Looking for a fast release she moved hurriedly and while Harm was somewhat concerned about her intensity and timing, he offered no resistance and let her have her way with him.

Realising her rhythm was faltering, Harm opened his eyes and was surprised by the tears he saw on her face. Without waiting for an explanation, he pulled her down and tried to hold her tightly but she fought from his grasp.

"Mac, slow down, gorgeous," he said gently, trying to still her with his hands spread wide on her hips.

"No...just...no," she panted, she wanted this, she needed this...not just for the sleep it would hopefully induce but to mask the pain she was feeling about her fertility issues.

Taking herself to the brink, she couldn't do it, couldn't climax, and she hated herself for it. Sex was always easy for her, a physical action, release, with a string of men. There was never any deep emotional connection, never a night of amazing electricity followed by sleeping with entwined limbs in the centre of the bed. That was only with Harm.

It was then she realised why it wasn't happening – with Harm it was never about sex, only about making love. Since their very first encounter he had loved her, cherished her, worshiped her, adored her and in return, here she was just trying to screw him...it made sense it wasn't working.

"Talk to me!" She heard him whisper but she shook her head. How could she explain this to him? "Gorgeous, please," he begged quietly as he pulled her down to him once more – this time she didn't resist and slumped onto his chest. Drawing the blankets up around her, Harm slipped his hand up under her tee and rubbed her back, whispering soothing words as she tried to settle her breathing and heart rate.

What seemed an eternity later, Mac sighed deeply and went to move but Harm held her tightly and kissed her cheek.

"Stay here with me," he said and Mac threaded her arms behind his neck and kissed his cheek. "You okay?"

Mac nodded and he felt her cheek brush up and down on his chest.

"What happened?" he asked, his hand still moving in circles around her back.

"Love you," was her reply but by no means answered his question.

"I love you too," he said, kissing her head before repeating the question. "What happened?"

Rolling her head to the side, Mac looked up at him and contemplated her response. The man deserved the truth but she didn't know how to voice it.

"I couldn't sleep," she finally said and he nodded, waiting for her to go on, but she didn't.

"And?" he prompted; his hand stilling.

"I thought making love to you would help," she whispered guiltily.

"But it didn't, did it?" he questioned, holding her still when she tried to move.

"No, it didn't," she admitted. "And it was my fault because ... because..." She paused as she tried to find the words but Harm came to her rescue.

"You don't have to explain, gorgeous," he said, wrapping her tightly in his arms.

"I'm sorry," she whispered curling her fingers into his tee.

"Don't be sorry, Mac, you've got a lot of things going on in here," he replied, tapping softly on her temple. "I do understand." And he did, he'd used sex to deal with emotions he didn't want to deal with, especially in his younger days, and he knew this was what Mac was doing. "It will be okay."

**Thanks for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: they still don't belong to me.  
**_______________________________  
Only minutes after Mac had fallen asleep on top of Harm, the bedroom door was flung open, causing them both startle and jump apart. Oblivious, AJ padded across the room on his way to the bathroom while Harm and Mac lay deathly still, hoping he hadn't realised their positions.

As soon as the bathroom door shut, Mac quickly sat up on the bed beside Harm, turning on the bedside lamp and waiting for AJ to return.

"Just had to go to the bathroom," AJ said as he left the small room and looked at his godparents. "Marines must be stronger than sailors," he added as an afterthought.  
"What makes you say that?" Harm asked, shifting the covers on the bed.  
"'Cos whenever mom and dad wrestle, like you too were just doing, dad always wins 'cos he's the one that ends up on top. So, as Aunty Mac was on top, she must have won, right?" he asked, turning back from the door to look at them.  
"Ah, yeah, that's right," Harm choked out.  
"Must mean she's stronger and we know she's a girl so it can't be that, can it, Uncle Harm? Because you wouldn't let any girl beat you – it must be because she's a marine."

Neither Harm nor Mac could think of anything to say that wouldn't see them having to explain what she was really doing on top.  
"Oorah, Aunty Mac," he said, padding back out to the living room and closing the door behind him.

There were no words to describe the mortification felt by Harm and Mac as they lay silently in bed. Neither dared speak. Neither looked at the either. And both wondered if the other was actually breathing. While it was clear AJ knew they'd been doing something, it was equally clear he hadn't equated it to sex – which was a good thing, an extremely good thing. However, the fact he would probably report this 'wrestling' outcome to his parents, his siblings, and, god forbid, the man he was named after, was something they didn't want to contemplate in the least.

"Tell me that didn't just happen," Mac whispered into the darkness of the room.  
"It didn't happen," Harm replied, trying to erase it from his mind. Perhaps if they ignored it, they could convince AJ he only dreamt it.  
"Good," she replied, easing down into the bed and turning her back to Harm. "Very good."  
Harm slid down behind her and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Night, gorgeous."  
"Night, Harm."

Sleep did come for Mac, but alas, it didn't last too long. Soon she was woken by a small, scared voice.  
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" she asked when she saw AJ's tear stained face by her bed.  
"Had a bad dream," he whispered, his body still trembling.  
"Oh, honey!" she exclaimed, pulling back the covers and allowing the boy to crawl in with her. "Would you like to tell me about it?"  
"No," he whispered as he snuggled into her. "Don't really remember it – only that I woke up scared."  
"Well, you're okay now," Mac said gently as she caressed his back. "Everything's fine."  
"Do you think it's okay with Uncle Harm if I sleep here?" he asked, looking up at Mac tearfully.  
"Of course, sweetheart," Mac reassured the boy, before kissing his head. "Why would you think otherwise?"  
"Because dad says I'm a big boy and should stay in my own bed and I don't want Uncle Harm to think I'm a baby," he said, his male pride at stake.  
"Well, I think Uncle Harm would be more than happy for you to come to us when you've had a nightmare. He's very good at chasing the nightmares away," she whispered.  
"Even when he's asleep?" AJ asked, propping himself to look at his godfather.  
"Yes, even when he's asleep," Mac replied, just sleeping next to him had afforded her a sense of security she had never known.

Content with the answers, AJ settled back down with Mac and had closed his eyes as she kissed his head and held him close.

"I wonder if you're the only little boy I'm going to have in my life?" she whispered to the sleeping child. "It's not that I don't want you in my life, because I do, I definitely do. And it's not that I don't love you, because I do, very much...I guess it's the difference in how you love your mom and dad and how you love Uncle Harm and me...." she rambled softly, trying to work her way through her own thoughts.

Behind her, Harm lay perfectly still listening to each pain laden word she uttered. He wanted to comfort her, to promise her the world but he knew they were empty promises. He didn't know what their future held anymore than she did. With an aching heart, he kept his breathing slow and even although he doubted Mac had even realised he was awake.  
When he knew Mac had drifted back to sleep he held her a little tighter and hoped that maybe through his touch she would gain some level of comfort.

It was to Mac's great surprise that she awoke hours later to find she was in bed alone. Rubbing her eyes she tried to focus on the sounds from the apartment and to figure out the dream from reality. It didn't take her long to realise her current favourite men were in the kitchen.

Throwing on a robe, Mac padded out to the kitchen and paused by the door when she heard an outburst of laughter. Peering around the door, she quickly covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh. In the midst of a white haze, she saw Harm and AJ making pancakes, though it seemed more flour had escaped into the air than was in the bowl on the bench. She watched them for a few moments; both were wearing aprons smeared with batter. AJ had flour in his hair and Harm had a streak down his cheek. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know what had happened.

"Hey, Mac," Harm said, spying her at the door.  
"Hi, Aunty Mac," AJ chimed in, lifting up the wooden spoon in greeting causing another splattering of batter.  
"Well, good morning," Mac said. "Looks like you two are cooking up a storm."  
"We are, Aunty Mac," AJ agreed. "Pancakes and eggs and bacon and orange juice." Pointing to the freshly squeezed juice on the bench with the spoon, AJ splattered more batter.  
"Sounds yummy," she replied, brushing the flour from Harm's cheek before kissing it.  
"Oh, it will be," Harm promised enthusiastically.  
"Seems like you've been having fun," Mac said, wiping a blob of batter from his nose.  
"We are...had a little accident with the flour," he explained quietly. "Sorry...but I'll make sure it's cleaned up."  
"Well, these things happen," she said, smiling at AJ.  
"Wasn't me, Aunty Mac," he said in his own defence. "I told Uncle Harm to use scissors to open the flour sack, like mom does, but he said he knew better and then 'wham' it was everywhere."  
"Don't rat me out, AJ," Harm said, with a mock look of horror on his face. "I thought we were pals."  
"We are, Uncle Harm, but my mom said never to lie..." he said before leaning closer to Harm. "And especially not to a marine."  
"Your mother's a wise woman, AJ," Mac said, ruffling the boy's hair and causing a new cloud of flour to emerge.

Breakfast was delicious, the clean up though, seemed to take on a life of its own. The more AJ tried to help, the more the flour became gluggy and much harder to clean. Realising the futility of the effort, Mac figured she'd try something different.

"Hey, AJ, we're nearly finished here, why don't you go have a shower and get dressed," she said, wiping her hands on the dish cloth. "I'll come help you; the faucets can get a bit stuck."  
"Ahh, ummm," AJ said, his eyes flitting between his godparents.  
"What is it, AJ?" Harm asked, resting a hand on Mac's shoulder.  
"You think you could help me, Uncle Harm?" he asked quietly, not daring to look at Mac.  
"Sure," Harm replied.  
"Good," he whispered, taking off his apron and turning away from Mac. "I mean I know this is Aunty Mac's place and all and she's a marine and strong enough for the faucets, but you know she's still a girl and I'm a boy and ...you know...well, you know how it is."  
"Yeah, I know," Harm said, patting his back and throwing a smile at Mac. When he was a kid he hated his mom being anywhere around him when he was taking a shower or bath.

By the time Harm returned, Mac was much further advance with the cleaning and as he watched her he had to wonder how much he and AJ had hindered the process.  
"Everything okay with AJ?" Mac asked as Harm entered into the kitchen.  
"He is. He decided it might be best to have a bath and get rid of all the flour before having a shower to rinse it all off at the end," Harm explained, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her to him.  
"Good," Mac replied, kissing him quickly, before pulling away and finishing the job in front of her.  
"Anything I can do to help?" he asked, moving behind her and kissing her shoulder.  
"No, I think you both 'helped' enough," she said with a smile.  
"I promise I'll use the scissors next time," he said with a guilty smile.  
"Glad to hear it," she replied, flashing the first true smile he'd seen all morning.

When AJ was washed and dressed, Mac set him up at her dining table with many of her dinosaur artefacts and tools while Harm took a shower, without anyone's help. When he returned he found Mac and AJ having a deep and meaningful conversation about which dinosaur had the best features.

Mac was making an argument for the triceratops, while AJ was spouting the merits of a velociraptor.  
"What about the Tyrannosaurus Rex?" Harm asked, sitting down opposite Mac and picking up a bone of some sort.  
Both AJ and Mac stared at him before bursting out laughing.  
"Yeah, that's a good one, Uncle Harm," AJ said laughing.  
"Oh yeah," he said, trying to figure out why his response had elicited such a response.  
"Oh, you were serious?" Mac said, before looking at AJ. "He was serious."  
"Oh, Uncle Harm, I'll explain it to you," AJ said sympathetically, patting his arm which caused Mac to burst out laughing once more.  
"Why don't I leave you men to chat," she said, pushing back her chair. "While I have a shower and get dressed."  
"Okay," AJ replied brightly. "Now you see, it's like this, Uncle Harm..." AJ started as Mac disappeared into her bedroom.

After a few hours of palaeontology and after Harm had conceded that big wasn't necessarily the best when it came to dinosaurs, AJ grew restless and it was time for a new activity. With nobody hungry after a big breakfast, they knew it was a while before lunch would be necessary and then there would be a mid afternoon trip to take AJ home.

"Aunty Mac, Spongebob Squarepants is on, can I please watch it?" he asked, getting up from the table.  
"Sure thing," she replied, packing away the last of her things. "Remote's on the coffee table."  
"Coffee?" Harm asked Mac as he returned from the bathroom.  
"Thanks," she said with a nod and a smile.

When he returned, Mac was on the sofa while AJ was lying on his stomach on the floor watching the animated show. Placing the mugs on the side table, Harm settled down beside Mac and wrapped one arm around her shoulder as she nestled into him.  
"What are we watching?" he asked, his eyes scanning the screen.  
"Something about a sponge," she replied, closing her eyes and enjoying the comfort she always found in his arms.  
"A sponge?" Harm echoed.  
"Yeah, Uncle Harm," AJ said without turning back. "Spongebob Squarepants – that's him," he said pointing at a yellow thing on the screen. "Well, he and his friends live at Bikini Bottom..."  
"Bikini Bottom?" Harm questioned, shaking his head at the location.  
"Yeah, that's his friend, Patrick, and he lives in a two storey pineapple..." he continued.  
"Patrick lives in a pineapple?" he asked, realising why he never had much reason to watch television.  
"No, silly, Spongebob does," AJ corrected, laughing at him, the way only a nine year old could.

While AJ watched the rest of the hour long double episode, Harm decided to spend his time watching Mac and while she was uncomfortable at first, she soon found his undivided attention endearing and manoeuvred them so Harm was lying on his back, while she was wedged between him and the back of the sofa.

Lovingly gazing down on him, Mac couldn't help but get lost in the deep azure pools she saw before her. His eyes were the first thing she had noticed about him and each time she saw them her stomach fluttered.

Caught up in each other, rather than the television, neither realised Spongebob Squarepants had finished until AJ crash landed on Harm. Instantly Harm groaned in pain, thanks to the sensitive part impacted by the boy's knee.

Trying not to swear, he clamped his mouth shut as tightly as his eyes were while he moaned, his hands moving to try and protect his now throbbing manhood.  
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Uncle Harm," AJ said, his eyes wide with panic as he climbed back off him.  
"It's okay," Mac answered when it was obvious Harm wasn't capable of a reply. Repositioning herself, Mac held Harm as best as she could and he used the proximity of her chest to smother the words he didn't want AJ to hear. "You okay?" she whispered and while he nodded the sweat on his brow and the look of pain on his face told its own story. "Anything I can do?" He shook his head, so Mac just wrapped her arms around him and held him to her.

Before AJ could apologise further the phone rang and Mac asked him to answer it.  
"Hello," he said in a quiet voice. "Oh, hi mom, yeah, I'm having a great time, yeah, they are too...or they were until a little while ago... well, you see Uncle Harm was on the sofa and I jumped on him and accidentally kneed him in the ba...." His words disappeared and Mac could hear Harriet's interjection from where she was sitting.  
"Honest, mom, I didn't mean it," he said, his voice thick with emotion. Not wanting the weekend to end in tears, Mac held out her hand for the phone and explained everything to Harriet, continually reassuring her that there was no real damage done and how wonderful the weekend had been.

After she'd disconnected the call, AJ excused himself to use the bathroom and Mac turned her attention to Harm who had remained silent.  
"How are you doing?" she asked as she tugged the cushion from his face.  
"That hurt like hell," he whispered as she ran her fingers through his hair.  
"Need an ice pack?" she asked, caressing his face.  
"God, no," he said quickly, not even wanting to contemplate the discomfort he'd feel with an icepack inside his boxers.  
"Well, If you're a good boy, when AJ goes home, I'll kiss it better," Mac whispered as the boy came back into the room.

Harm groaned once more.

**Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: they still don't belong to me.  
**_______________________________

Well prepared to do anything to make Mac's life easier and to give her all the comfort he could, given the circumstances, Harm didn't argue when Mac suggested having lunch at Beltway Burger. He didn't question the choices of Mac or AJ when they ordered a meal high in fat, sugar and other substances he didn't want to think about. Instead he ordered a vegie burger and fries for himself with a coke to wash it all down with and wondered how his body would react to the intrusion.  
"You're really going to eat here?" Mac asked in surprise. "Well, there's a first time for everything," she added when he nodded.  
"I can live in the moment," he said, sliding into the booth opposite her and AJ.  
"Really?" she said, grinning.  
"Oh, there's a lot you don't know about me," he said with a smirk before stealing one of AJ's onion rings.

When the meal was finished, AJ ran off to play at the playground, while Harm and Mac ordered coffee and sat watching him.  
"He's so beautiful, isn't he?" Mac said wistfully.  
"Yes, he is," Harm replied, kissing her head. "And so are you."  
Not able to say anything without giving away the emotion she was feeling, Mac sipped her coffee while Harm slipped his arm around her shoulders and held her close. Little else was said until AJ came bounding over to them.  
"This is cool place, Aunty Mac," he said panting. "No wonder you like it."  
Mac smiled at him.  
"Do you think we can come another time?" he questioned, sitting down next to Harm.  
"Sure, kiddo," he replied when Mac failed to answer.  
"And do you think I can come stay with you another weekend?" he asked hopefully. His mother had told him not to ask but he couldn't help it, he'd had a great weekend.  
"As soon as we can organise it," Harm said, ruffling his hair. "Right, Aunty Mac?"  
Her response was to smile and nod, fine for AJ but Harm knew there was a problem.

After AJ was buckled up in the back seat once more, Harm pulled the car into traffic and headed towards the Roberts' house; a little disappointed the weekend was over as he'd had a good time with AJ but relieved that he'd be able to hold and comfort Mac and hopefully get her to talk to him.

They travelled along with friendly banter being exchanged and AJ reliving the highlights of the weekend. The museum had been right up there but his favourite time had been making pancakes with his Uncle Harm.  
"Can I be the page boy when you guys get married?" AJ asked out of the blue.

Harm and Mac looked at each other, they hadn't actually discussed the wedding but both knew it was going to be a small intimate affair, probably only a handful of people and nothing formal.  
"Well?" he questioned when there was no response.  
"Aunty Mac and I haven't discussed the wedding yet, but when we do we'll see what part you can play, okay?" Harm answered, ever the diplomat.  
"That's cool," he replied. "Just let me know."

Having dropped AJ home and had coffee and cake with Bud and Harriet, Mac and Harm headed home and Harm was aware that Mac was on the verge of tears as he backed out of the driveway.

"How are you doing?" he asked as he turned into the next street, before taking and kissing her hand.  
"I'm okay," she replied as she continued staring out the window, not yet able to look at Harm lest he see the tears rolling down her cheeks.  
"I can listen if you want to talk," he continued, glancing over to see her swiping at her tears.  
"I know," she said softly before sighing deeply; she couldn't believe she had let it get to tears.

They were driving for a good while until Mac actually saw the scenery they were passing and realised it wasn't the way home.  
"Where are we going?" she asked before realising Harm was actually parking the car. "Where are we?" she amended. "Rock Creek National Park," she answered herself.  
"Thought we could go for a walk, get some fresh air, some peace and quiet," Harm said popping the trunk and climbing out of the car. "I packed your trainers and a jacket when I was putting in AJ's stuff, if you want them," he said, indicating her belongings.  
"Thanks," she replied without looking at him.

Swapping her boots for the trainers and her light jacket for the warmer one Harm had brought, Mac was ready to go and had started walking the trail before Harm had locked the car. Knowing she needed time and space, Harm was prepared to walk along behind her, far enough away so she got what she wanted, close enough to let her know she wasn't alone.

It was ten minutes of silent, solitary walking, save for the sound of their footfalls on the earth below. Seeing Mac was slowing down, Harm sped up and laced his fingers with hers as he continued to walk. Saying nothing, he raised her hand and kissed it before looking at her tear stained face and offering her his handkerchief.  
"Thanks," she said, taking the item and wiping her face. "I'm really sorry," she added sadly.  
"What are you sorry for?" he asked, stopping and pulling her around to be facing him. "Would you like to tell me?" he asked, the pain in her eyes killing him.  
"Don't think I could explain it," she replied, dropping her head.  
"Okay," he conceded, he knew he wouldn't understand it fully anyway. "Mac, honey," he said, using his thumb and forefinger to raise her face. "What can I do to help?" His eyes tearing as her bottom lip quivered.  
"Nothing," she replied, her tears flowing once more. "Nothing! There's nothing you can do or I can do or ...or...just nothing!"  
"Okay, okay," he said, taking her in a warm embrace. "Okay, gorgeous." As her arms threaded around his waist, Harm smiled, this was the first time she was letting him in. "Let it all out, Mac," he said gently before kissing her head. "Let it all out."  
And she did.

Having had no concept of the time they had spent entwined, Harm realised with dusk falling they should probably head home. Kissing her head once more, Harm pulled back slightly.  
"What's say I take you home?" he asked, offering her a small smile.  
To his surprise she shook her head; she wasn't quite ready to leave just yet. She loved Harm, she honestly did, but she just needed some space and a chance to catch her breath.  
"I'm going for a run," she said, pulling out of his arms.  
"Mac, it's getting dark," he protested.  
"I won't be long," she replied, as she shrugged off her jacket and handed it to him.  
"I'll come with you," he offered but she shook her head; that would defeat the purpose.  
"Mac..." he went to protest but she ran off anyway and Harm was left with nothing to do but head up to the car and wait for her.

Sitting alone on a picnic bench in the quickly descending darkness, Harm had his elbows on his knees as his hands cradled his head. A myriad of swirling thoughts drifted through his mind; some good, some not so good. Having no idea how to help Mac deal with things was a gut wrenching blow. For years he had loved her, wanted her, needed her and believed that together they could conquer, or at least deal with, anything.

Now, faced with their first hurdle he'd failed her. The first time they needed to be on the same page, working together he hadn't known what to say and she had run from him – figuratively and literally. Trying to figure out how to overcome it, Harm missed the sound of Mac's approach.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she approached the forlorn figure. "Harm? What is it?" she asked as he sat up and looked at her with defeat and sadness etched across his face.  
"We should go home," he said, though he made no move to go.  
"Harm?" she said, coming to stand in front of him. "Is this my fault?" she whispered, knowing his mood would have been caused by her behaviour.  
"I'm sorry," he replied, not looking at her. "I'm sorry I can't give you the things you want," he added as he stood and brushed by her.

As he reached the car, Mac ran after him and forced him to turn around and look at her. For interminably long moments she stood and stared at him before moving her hands up to his face and holding it inches from hers.  
"It's my fault I can't have what I want...I'm the one with fertility issues," she said, her voice wavering but not breaking. "But, it's just that...a want... I do want a baby... I also want to marry you... want to buy a house with you...want to travel somewhere exotic with you where we can just relax...want to see in every New Year with you...want ... want ... want..." she said brushing away his tears before framing his face in her hands once more. "But you've got to know, Harm, that's all they are – wants and I can work my way through them. I can...I promise you that. What I can't live without is what I need. Without that I am nothing, have nothing," she whispered, tears streaming down her face.  
Harm shook his head. "Then I'm sorry I can't..."  
"No, Harm... " Mac interjected. "Darling, you have to believe me when I say that whatever comes comes, whatever happens happens. But know this, everything I will ever need I have in my hands, right here, right now."

**_The End_**

**--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0--0  
AN: I'm leaving this story here and there won't be an epilogue. They're in the perfect place to pick up from in a sequel, if I decide to do one.**

**Thanks to all those who have reviewed - much appreciated.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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